A Little About Me and How I Found My Mama Tribe

Happy Monday, Midlands Babywearers!

Strawberry picking
Boone Hall Planation

It's been a gorgeously hot weekend, full of babywearing and fun kids events. I hope you all ran into at least one babywearer this weekend, whether it was our group at the Natural Baby Expo/Great Cloth Diaper Change, or at Lexington Kids' Day - which gets far too crowded to make pushing a stroller very practical, or were one of the many people piling into the zoo, or maybe you visited Soda City Market on Saturday morning. I love meeting Babywearers in the wild, whether I know them already or not, I feel like I should know them. The babywearing community here used to be smaller, but it's growing now by leaps and bounds, and I can't wait to get to know everyone better!



In the four months I've been blogging, I've covered lots of how-to's, tips and tricks, and general babywearing topics that I hope will be a useful reference point for all of our veteran and novice Babywearers, and anyone else who stumbles on this blog. I wanted it to become a place where, when someone in our group, or the larger babywearing community has a question, you can say, "I've got a blog for that!" and you can easily link them to the appropriate blog post without having to write a lengthy response (unless you really want to, of course!)  - and I have seen many of you sharing the blog with that intent, and as Kai-lan says, "that makes my heart feel super happy!".

With that said, I wanted to take a break from that, and tell you a bit more about me, how I came to babywear, and how it's helped me be a better parent.

When I became pregnant with my first child, in 2009, the first two things I bought (after doing tons of research) were a stroller (a Maclaren Quest XL) which we still own and love, and a Kangaroo Korner fleece pouch, which I never wore a baby in (and now appears that they are no longer available for sale). For starters, I chose this cream fleece sequined and embroidered adjustable pouch which was gorgeous but probably the most impractical thing I could have chosen. I traded it for a brown polka dotted Hotsling pouch, which was far too small for me, and also never got worn.

Me and baby #1 at the zoo in the Ergo

Thank God my husband has better taste! He researched and researched for a carrier that would work for him, a 6'6" BIG guy. We went, as all expecting parents do, to Babies R Us to register once we found out we were expecting a boy (another reason that cream colored sequined thing never got used. I just couldn't put a boy in that), and he tried on what they had in store, which was mostly a collection of Baby Bjorns, and boy, was that just a laugh. Bless his heart, he looked like he was wearing a man-bra. But he really wanted to wear our son, too, so he went online and saw lots of great things being said about the Ergo baby carrier, and how great it was for larger people, like both of us were. When we found out we were pregnant, I had just lost about 20 pounds - but I was still very plus sized at 4'11" and 225 lbs - and I don't know what my husband weighed, but I know he wore 3XLT shirts. My mother in law bought it as our baby gift - the Ergo, suck pads (which never came out of the box), the infant insert (we never used it), and backpack, which could be worn independently or clip on to the carrier (we used it more than the carrier, I think).


Me and fur-baby Tigger in the Moby

I did some more research and bought a Moby wrap, which was an awfully long piece of stretchy fabric, and once it's out of its carrying bag, I could never fold it up small enough to fit it back in. But, I learned to use it, and practiced with our long suffering cat, Tigger, before our son was born. And we did wear him, for all the reasons I thought we would - he wanted to be held, sometimes strollers just aren't practical in all places, and I loved, at the time, that not a lot of people were doing it. I didn't see many other Babywearers in the wild. As our son grew, and we figured out what kind of parents we were, and were not, we discovered something. The parenting tribe we were in just didn't fit. You see, when we were still expecting our first, we became part of a wonderful small group at our church, and we loved the people in it, all young parents like ourselves. We got along great, and we had a lot of fun getting to know each other, watching our children grow, and talking about God and life and parenting. But we were different. We didn't talk about it, but as our son grew, it became pretty obvious to us that we just did things differently. We co-slept. We couldn't fathom letting our child cry it out. We sort of tried at one point, when he was close to a year, but it was half-hearted and we went back to doing what came natural to us, which was a tear-free bedtime. I breast-fed until one or both of us wanted to stop. We wore our baby, and would continue to as he became a toddler. When he was seven months old, we switched to cloth diapers. We didn't spank. We did and didn't do a whole host of things that were contrary to how our friends parented. It's not that they judged us or were at all mean about our differences. It's just that we realized we couldn't go to them for advice or commiseration on parenting topics. I didn't really realize at the time that all of these things made us "crunchy" or that we were doing "attachment parenting" - so many of these stemmed from laziness. The point is, as much as we loved our friends, they didn't quite work as our parenting tribe, and we didn't know if there were others out there like us, or how to find them if there were. So we were adrift.

I did find an online parenting tribe, at www.mothering.com. When I became pregnant with our

me, pregnant with baby#2

second baby, our first was 14 months old, and I desperately wanted a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). I knew having a doula experienced in VBAC would be a key factor to my success, and I followed a board signature to local doula's page. When we met to discuss my birth plans, and to find if she would be a good fit for us, I asked her if she knew any locals "like us". At some point during that pregnancy, I had found the local Holistic Moms Network meetings, and met some nice people there, but we didn't get together outside of meetings, and part of me chafed a bit at having to pay a membership fee to find friends. She directed me to a local babywearing group on Facebook. I had no idea that there was such a thing! I joined the group and looked forward to my first meeting, even though I was hugely pregnant and not wearing any baby at that point.

Our first meeting was at the State Museum. The great thing about babywearing is that, even not knowing anyone, I knew who was in the group, because babywearing is such an obvious thing to spot. That first meeting was a little awkward, as all first meetings are, as I tried to figure out if I fit. I met some moms then that I admired at first glance, and have since, like my doula, become life long friends. My second meeting, I brought my husband, since it was more of a whole family thing, to the zoo. When the other dads started talking about co sleeping and how great and wonderful and terrible it is (because it is all of those things), you should have seen his face light up. Here was our tribe, his sideways glance told me. People we could be real with. Parents who "got" us. Families that we didn't have to skirt or hide our parenting style from, like it was somehow wrong to want to be closer to your kids. It was refreshing and honest and perfect for us.

Once our daughter was born - yes, a fantastic VBAC - I discovered woven wraps after starting with a

baby #2 in the Baby K'tan

our first successful back carry
- reinforced ruck tied Tibetan
- in Hoppediz Panama size 6

Baby K'tan (first cousin to the Moby, a stretchy wrap with no tying involved). I wanted her on my back so I could chase my 2 year old around the yard. I started at home, with YouTube, and practiced, and practiced. Starting hunched over near our bed, I wrapped as carefully as I could, then (sweating), I shuffled, still hunched over with one hand on my 2 month old, to the bathroom so I could check out the results in the large mirror there. After many, many failed attempts that left both of us sticky with sweat, crying tears of frustration, and wondering if I would EVER figure this out. I did figure it out. But there were other carries I wanted to try, and sometimes YouTube is just not the same as someone in person helping you. So, off to another meeting I went, to get some in-person wrapping help with Double Hammock. I got the help I needed, and to this day, Double Hammock is one of my favorite carries.

tandem wearing kid #1 and baby #2 at the zoo
wrap is Didymos Waves Tramonto in a size 7

I learned how to tandem carry, both in one long wrap, and using two carriers. People started asking me questions about how to wear, and what to wear, if they were plus sized. Others asked me for wrapping help. And as I helped other people learn, I learned a lot about myself. I love to share babywearing knowledge. I love connecting people with others that can help them better than I can. I realized I know a lot about some things, but I still have a lot to learn in other areas. For instance, I can use a Mei Tai. I can probably help you get started with one. But it's not something I have everyday comfort and familiarity with, and I'll probably point you to another admin, like Jackie or Chris, who have used one more often, or one of the group members I've seen wearing one every day for the last few months. That's the great thing about our group - there is someone among us that can help with just about anything. Even with helping make your Baby Bjorn more comfortable.



That group grew, and grew. It got so big, it was getting really hard to help everyone, and really know everyone. With close to 500 members, many of whom were not active, it was no longer the close-knit, friendly (as in full of friends. It became a bunch of people who did not know each other well) group it once was. So one day, when baby number 3 was a few months old, some friends and I met to talk about what we could do to make the babywearing community here in Columbia better. We debated about what kind of group we wanted, and how to create it. We decided, between that meeting and a few others, that a new group - starting from scratch - that focused on peer-to-peer learning and sharing was what we wanted. We believed that each of us - no matter where we are in our babywearing journey - has wisdom and knowledge worth sharing and knowing, that can benefit others. So this story is also a story of how Babywearers of the Midlands came to be. At the same time we were building and dreaming this new group, the old group, the one I first jived with, joined Babywearing International, and became a new group, too, BWI of Columbia. Some of my best friends are members of both groups - I think both groups have a lot to offer the growing babywearing community in the Midlands. Our focuses are a little different (BWI, as an organization, focuses on leadership and expertise of its VBE's -volunteer babywearing educators, while we are peer-to-peer learning based), but the end goal is the same.

Now, when I'm at the zoo, or Publix, or Soda City, or even Wal-mart, and run into someone else wearing their baby, I assume I must know them - and even if I don't, I should get to know them, because I think they are awesome. And awesome people deserve a great mama tribe, and that's what the babywearing community is. It is chock full of the most generous, open, friendly people I could ever hope to know. I'm still friends with my church group. They are wonderful people and great parents. But my babywearing friends are the heart of my inner circle - they understand the joy I feel at mastering a new carry, they rejoice with me when a new parent finds the carrier that "clicks", they mourn with me when my formerly worn-everywhere baby no longer wants "up" all the time. The friendship goes beyond babywearing things, because they are also the people bound to have the best cloth diapering advice, tips for dealing with a restless nursing toddler, and there is no better group for commiserating over the joys and woes of bed-sharing. While not all Babywearers do all of the "crunchy" things - I've found they are the most accepting and open group for all parenting styles - among us there are formula feeding moms, working moms, stay at home dads, families who vaccinate, who delay shots, who don't give any, and the best part is, rarely do I ever hear any drama over any of these things. We know that however you are parenting, you are what you feel is best for your family, and that makes each one of you a wonderful person to know. And that's why I'm blessed to call them friends, and be a part of this tribe.

 

Upcoming events:

Saturday, May 10th - our weekend meeting - we'll be discussing babywearing in the hot, South Carolina summer

Thursday, May 22nd - our weekday meeting - this is a special partnership between our group and La Leche League to discuss nursing/feeding your baby while babywearing.

 

We also plan on doing an Ice Cream Social one weekend coming up soon, keep checking our Facebook Group for details that will be posted soon!

The Proper Care and Use of Baby Carriers

Happy Monday, Midland's Babywearers!

I hope everyone had a great Easter, filled with family, fun, and food. It was the perfect end to a much needed Spring Break. Did wearing your baby or toddler make your Easter easier? My kids love to play and be passed around at family gatherings, so I don't get to wear them much in those cases. But I sure wore my youngest out during some marathon shopping on Saturday!

Over in our Facebook Group, we've noticed that lots of you are getting new "fluff" - new wraps, new buckle carriers, and even some Mei Tais. Some of these are brand new carriers, some are pre-loved and new to you. We love seeing all of your new fluff, but we're sure many of you are left wondering, after a weekend out, and seeing your lovely new carrier get some heavy use, how do I wash this thing? Or maybe you're wondering if you need to wash it before you use it at all?

The good thing about baby carriers is that they do not, under normal circumstances, need frequent washing. This helps the fabric last longer, and the colors in certain fabrics stay bright and true. Washing your carrier every so often - usually when you find them noticeably dirty or smelly - is an excellent time to go over your carrier carefully to make sure that there are no safety issues or flaws that need repair. Some of these flaws (in the case of pulls and thread shifting in woven wraps) can actually be repaired by washing. It's very important also to check your carriers regularly in any case to make sure they remain a safe option for your baby. This also should be done every time you buy or sell a used carrier. From a buyer's perspective, you want to make sure you received a quality carrier with no safety issues, and you should definitely wash before use if your family has any allergy or sensitivity issues. From a seller's perspective, you want to make sure you notice any flaws so you can disclose them before selling, and washing is just a good idea before you go to sell. We'll go over how to wash and what to look for safety and cosmetic wise for Buckle carriers, Mei Tai, and Woven Wraps.

Buckle Carriers/SSC (soft structured carrier)

Add caption

Brand Spanking New (bought at retail or advertised BNIB - brand new in box)

Do you need to wash it? I think this is optional. My family doesn't have any particular sensitivities or allergies, so I don't wash new buckle carriers before using. However, you should definitely go over even a brand new carrier to make sure all of the stitching looks firm and tight, that there are no lose spots in the seams, especially at the weight bearing corners (where the body of the carrier connects to waist band and shoulder straps). Also look at all of the plastic buckles and pieces to make sure they are whole, without cracks or warping.



Used

Do you need to wash it? I would recommend washing it at your earliest convenience. Even when advertised from a smoke free, pet free home, I have noticed in some cases that a scent still clings to the carrier, and I'm sensitive to scents. Also, some postal carriers smoke and that can leech through to their packages. Both before and after you wash it, I would inspect it for any flaws, so that these can be brought to the attention of the seller if any exist.

If you find a flaw, regardless of whether you bought new or used, DO NOT WASH THE CARRIER. Bring it to the attention of the seller, and discuss what remedy could be made. If you buy new, a full refund or exchange is usually appropriate. If you buy used, you can certainly return and expect a full refund. I really don't recommend asking for a partial refund - these are usually difficult to negotiate and generally no one walks away pleased from this transaction. If the flaw you find is cosmetic - a mark or stain on the carrier that is not obvious, or loose thread where it does not affect the structural integrity of the carrier - still mention it to the seller as an FYI.  In most cases with buckle carriers, you do not find major issues.

Washing: all carriers come with washing instructions, and sometimes these vary. These instructions are general tips and tricks that apply most for most SSC. Tighten all your straps as much as you can (especially if you are using a washer with agitator) and use a mesh laundry bag if you have one.
This will help prevent things getting tangled. Wash on cold with a detergent that is free of optical brighteners. If you cloth diaper, whatever detergent you use in that case would also be appropriate for your carriers. Liquid or powder detergent? for SSC it doesn't really matter. Mostly you want to pick a gentle but effective detergent that will not cause the fabric to fade too much. That is the most common "flaw" I see in used SSC - faded fabric. This is no safety issue, but will affect the resale value of your carrier. Wash on cold, using the gentle/handwash cycle. Do NOT use fabric softener. Ever. On ANY carrier. Yes, it's that serious. Fabric softener does carrier fabric no favors, or you either. Skip it. All of the fabrics used on buckle carriers are pre-washed and already soft, and will soften more with use and wear, no additional artificial softening is needed.

Drying - line or dry flat. Due to the padding in the waist and shoulders, these should not be dried in your dryer. You may need adjust and straighten the waist and shoulder padding prior to laying flat or line drying if they got twisted in the wash. Using a dryer will only exacerbate the twisting, and some of the materials used in the padding are not dryer-friendly.

Ironing - only if you want to. I don't like to iron and have never bothered to iron a SSC. If you smooth the fabric of the body prior to line or drying flat, ironing shouldn't really be necessary.

Mei Tai



Minde - in a wrap conversion MT

Brand New

Do you wash it? Up to you; I might be more inclined to wash a brand new mei tai, since it is all fabric and no webbing, unlike an SSC. Especially if it has been converted from a woven wrap, as washing woven wraps tends to only make them better. Inspect all of the stitching when you receive it.  and inspect the fabric for any thin spots or loose threads.

Used

Do you wash it? I always wash any used carrier prior to use, so, yes, I would. Especially if it has a noticeable scent. Inspect it before and after washing for any flaws, and bring these to the attention of the seller immediately.

How to wash it:

All of the same instructions apply for Mei Tai  that apply to SSC. If your Mei Tai has been converted from a woven wrap, follow the washing instructions appropriate for woven wraps of that fiber blend. If there is no padding or foam in the waist or shoulder straps (this varies between brands and makers, some of whom offer wrap straps and no padding waist) you may be able to dry in the dryer on the settings appropriate for the fabric's fiber blend.

Ironing - especially for the straps, I would iron these after washing, on the settings appropriate for the fiber. Often when washing the straps can get rolled and wrinkled, and ironing them will make it easier to use.

Woven Wraps:

This could be the longest care section - but I will try to keep it concise. I'll link to some excellent resources if you want more of the nitty-gritty.

New

Do you wash it? Yes. Before you ever wear it, you need to wash your woven wrap. Nearly all manufacturers insist on it. They do not wash it prior to you receiving it - it comes to you fresh off the loom from the seamstress who cut and hemmed it. Washing is needed to tighten the weave. It will also help start the breaking in process, or softening of your wrap. Like with any carrier, check for flaws before and after you wash it. You are looking for pulls, thread shifting, weaving flaws, holes, anything that doesn't look quite right. I'll discuss flaws in more detail below.

Used

Do you wash it? I would, but before you wash it, measure it. The most common complaint I see from buyers is that the wrap isn't the size they thought they bought. If the seller washed before selling (and if they measured PRIOR to washing) it is very possible the wrap shrunk a few inches during the washing and drying process. The wrap will stretch a bit with use again, so this is no fault of the seller. If the measure is significantly different from what you were sold (more than 6 inches) - bring this to the attention of the seller like you would any other flaw. You can ask for a refund, offer to try to sell or trade it yourself for the size you actually want, or the seller may offer another solution. Other than that, inspect and wash it like you would any other carrier.

How to wash it

I'll talk about the basic fibers. For blends, wash according to the most "picky" fiber. So if it's a cotton/linen blend - wash it like you wash linen.

Geckos 100% cotton - Lending Library addition)

Cotton: I always recommend cotton for new wrappers. It's the easiest to care for, because you've been washing 100% cotton things forever, and caring for a woven wrap is not that much different. Wash on cold, using whatever detergent you have that is free of optical brighteners. Add some dryer balls if you have them (if you don't, you totally should get some. They are an awesome replacement for fabric softener, which you will not be using, right?), and you are good to go. Many people hang dry until 50% or more dry and finish in the dryer. Cotton is pretty forgiving, but obviously, the more gentle you treat it, the longer it islikely to last.

Linen Feathers- Lending Library addition

Linen: This fiber is also fairly easy to care for and a favorite for warm weather. Wash on cold or warm at most, using liquid detergent. It is said by some manufacturers that powder detergent crystals can wear and create breakage on linen fibers so are not recommended. Dry on low, or line dry. Linen likes to be ironed, since it is prone to wrinkling. It's best to iron when it's mostly, but not completely, dry.

Silk: Whether it's tussah/wild silk or not, silk is a lovely fiber and not that difficult to take care of. Be gentle with it, and it will be your friend. Lukewarm water is best - cold water will cause the silk to dull. Hot water will shrink the fibers. Handwash or use the handwash setting on your washer. Hang dry out of direct sunlight, and iron on low.

Natibaby Hemp Clovers

Hemp: Hemp loves heat and it's a very durable fiber. Wash on warm or hot, using liquid detergent. Dry on low, and especially on a hemp blend, iron, iron, iron! Hemp really benefits from ironing - it will straighten out the fibers and the heat helps soften and break in the fibers.

Wool Snowflakes - Lending Library additon

Wool: Wool is so soft and can be great no matter the weather - it breathes well and will keep you warm in cold weather and cool in summer heat. The biggest fear with wool is felting, which happens if you dry it in the dryer. For any other fiber, if you dry on warm once or twice, it's no big deal (shrinkage is the biggest issue with other fiber blends and often the wrap will stretch out again with use, so it is no big deal in the grand scheme of things). If your wool wrap felts, it can no longer be used as a wrap - the fibers are broken beyond safely wearing. However, if you know what NOT to do, caring for wool is straightforward and you will love wrapping with it. It needs to be handwashed in lukewarm water, preferable with a wool-friendly detergent, and dried flat.


Bamboo: Bamboo is soft, thin, slippery. Like silk, it prefers lukewarm water. The most important thing to remember about bamboo is that it does not like to wet for a long time - the maximum amount of soaking time allowed is 40 minutes. When you wash, handwash or use the lightest, shortest setting on your washer. Dry on no heat or line/hang dry. Iron while damp.


There is a handy chart HERE with more discussion about the various fibers and blends.
Also, check out the various manufacturers websites to learn more about fiber care, and what the symbols on your wrap tags mean.

Didymos
Natibaby

Here are some links on flaws found in woven wraps, including pictures and how to fix them (and if the even need fixing. Some things are truly cosmetic).

Marsupial Mamas has a comprehensive article, including wrap care
My favorite resource for pulled threads, nubs and slubs, and a variety of other things that are within the realm of normal for wraps - found here - and how to fix them

Breaking in a Woven Wrap

What's that, anyway? Breaking in a wrap is just like breaking in your favorite jeans - new and stiff in the store, once broken in, they are soft, buttery, floppy, and fit and mold to you like a glove. That's the end goal with woven wraps, too. But how do you get there? Especially when some wraps feel like cardboard fresh out of the box? Or worse yet, like mesh in your porch's screen door? (yes, it's true for some wraps, especially linen and hemp blends).

1) Wash it. See above on how. If your wrap tolerates it, dry it in the dryer. With dryer balls - I buy mine on Etsy, but you can make your own easily. The more the merrier. And seriously, the MORE the MERRIER. They will soften your wraps (and all your other clothes), and your kids will steal them to play with; you can never have too many. Because your kids will steal them to play with. And they will get lost in the corners of your fitted sheets, and your spouse will forget to put them back in the dryer, and your kids will steal them to play with.

2) Wear it/Use it. The more you use your wrap, the softer it will get. And it will get soft, even the scratchiest linen or the most stubborn of beastly hemps, eventually. You can speed up the process a bit though, keep reading.

3) Sit on it. Some call it Butt Magic. I fold mine and sit on them as I work on the computer. Unfold it, fold it again a different way, and sit some more. Sit on it as I'm crocheting, reading, or watching TV. I don't know why, but it works. Also, sleeping with it has the same effect.  No folding necessary, unless you are using it as a pillow.

braid- this is a linen/bamboo blend

4) Braid it/Crochet it - see Youtube video here,. This works not by braiding it and leaving it, but braid it, unbraid it, braid it, repeat. the constant use of the wrap as the fibers pull against each other is what works to soften it. Honestly, I don't use braiding as breaking in method, but to store and/or display my longest wraps. My folding never stays done.







5) Unconventional methods: Including use as a hammock or swing.  - Many of you have already done the hammock method and we love seeing your pictures!

Hammocks - not just for kids!

 

No matter what carrier you have, or are looking to purchase, knowing how to care for them, and what problems to look out for is vitally important to making sure your carrier lasts you a long time and will resell at a great price. There are woven wraps (especially Didymos) that have been in use and loved on for 20 years or more, and still have lots of life yet. Carriers like these do not really ever expire, if they are well cared for; they will last you as long as you could hope to use them.

 

Upcoming Events

We hope to see all of you., and your well cared for carriers (new and old!)  at one of our upcoming events.

Thursday, April 24th - at the LDS church on Broad River Rd. We'll discuss what to wear, and  how to stay cool, in the South Carolina heat.

Saturday, April 26th - we will be at the Natural Baby Expo/Great Cloth Diaper Change from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. We will have the Lending Library available to show, and will be happy to introduce you to, or trouble shoot, any carriers you have questions about. We will also have fundraising items available for sale - including suck pads (these are great for keeping your SSC or Mei Tai looking new), critters made by Quietmoon Reflections, and child-sized amber necklaces.

Coming up in May:

More Warm Weather Wearing - Saturday May 10th - at the LDS building on Assembly street

Ice Cream Social - the day and time is TBD - come vote in the Facebook group. A decision and event will be scheduled soon.

Nursing and bottle feeding while Babywearing - we are partnering with La Leche League on Thursday, May 22nd at our usual weekday location- to talk about how to accomplish this important skill.

Babywearing - Daddy Style

Happy Sunday, Midlands Babywearers!

Mr. H at the Zoo

With the weather warming up, we've seen a lot more Babywearers in the wild, so to speak. We have enjoyed seeing some new faces, and catching up with others we haven't seen in a while. This spring weather is perfect for babywearing - especially for longer periods of time - like going to the zoo, nature hikes, traveling, festivals, farmer's markets, flea markets, and more. It's often in these venues that I see more men wearing their babies, and toddlers, too.

In the past, most things child related were women's domain, but as men have become more active participants of the child-raising process, becoming stay-at-home-dads, or just wanting to be more in touch with their children when they are home in the evenings and weekends, they want a piece of the babywearing pie, too, but it's hard for anyone to know where to start, especially if you haven't really seen any other men babywearing. If you are a dad, reading this, you may be wondering, "do other dads REALLY do this?" The answer is: yes, yes they do.

Some men will wear whatever their wife or mother of their child picks out for them or has already, some want a carrier specifically for them, others do their own research and choose their own carrier. No matter what type of dad you are, wearing your baby is as practical as it is for your baby's mom, and offers all the same benefits. You are hands free, so you can get things done, you are close to your baby, so your baby is happy, and you both get time together to bond, which is priceless.

SSCs (Soft Structured Carriers or Buckle Carrier) - this is the carrier I most often see dads use. Dads choose it because it's easy to figure out, many are available in manly patters or basic colors, and they are very comfortable. SSCs are also a good carrier to choose when you have more than one person wearing the baby, as it easily adjusts to fit multiple wearers. Examples of common SSC are Ergo, Boba 4G, Kinderpack, Tula, Beco Gemini and Soleil, and the Infantino Union.



Mr. M at the Flea Market

Mr. F at the Flea Market

Mr. S at World Market

When I was pregnant with our first baby, back in 2009, before I knew a whole lot about babywearing, my husband and I went to go register for baby stuff at Babies R US, like 99% of expecting couples we knew. Babywearing made a lot of sense to both of us, so my 6 foot 6 inch husband tried on what they had in store, which was mostly Baby Bjorns and Chico carriers. On his large frame, the Baby Bjorn looked ridiculous. It also did not look like it would be very comfortable for a long period of time - both in regards to age of baby and duration of wear - so my husband decided to research online. He researched a bit and found Ergobaby, which in 2009 was probably the most ergonomic SSC available widely. It also got good reviews from larger men who found it fit them okay and was comfortable. We got good use out of the Ergo, sized up when our first baby was one to a Boba 2G, which had a taller back, sold it for a random SSC I found on a For Sale or Trade board that I loved the look and price of (a Nana's JetPack), which I sold when I was offered another SSC - a Babyhawk Oh!Snap - in trade . . . . and now we own three SSCs, that Oh!Snap, a standard size Kinderpack, and a custom toddler SSC. We also now have three kids, and like to have options for each of them, and having one both in the house and in the car is convenient. We love our SSC's!

Mr. B at the Fair

Mei Tai - often abbreviated MT - this options is very similar to an SSC, but instead of buckles, there are long straps you tie. No adjusting the buckles for the perfect fit on different people, just tie it to your comfort and secure your baby. Common brands include Babyhawk and the Infintino Sash Mei. This sort of carrier is great for newborns to toddlers and is very affordable. Since there are no buckles to adjust, many parents find it is a better option for a carrier for both parents to wear.

Mr. T on a hike

Frame Carriers - or Hiking backpacks - these sort of carriers are great for that purpose. They are the perfect choice if you spend a lot of time outdoors and want to carry just one thing - many frame carriers have extra pockets and pouches for carrying diapers, gear, water bottles, and anything else you may need for a day on the trail. The downside to these carriers is that they are a bit unwieldy for daily use, and baby should be sitting independently - six to eight months - before you can use it. They are a great option for many dads who want to take baby with them hiking and camping.





Mr. D -wrapping at home

Wraps - yes, real men wrap, too! There are two kinds of baby wraps. Woven Wraps and stretchy wraps. Stretchy wraps, like the Moby, are meant for young babies (newborn to 3-4 months), and are very long pieces of stretch knit cotton. I know men that have used and loved stretchy wraps as a way to snuggle and be close to their newborn. Others find the fabric keeps them a little too warm and others find wrapping with all that stretchy fabric too be more of a challenge than its worth.  However, once you get the hang of it, wrapping with a stretchy is a great gateway into the world of woven wraps.

Mr. N - wrapping at home

Woven wraps  - like stretchy wraps, these are long pieces of cloth, but the fabric is woven, not knit. It's like the difference between your favorite jeans and your favorite t-shirt. Your t-shirt is stretchy and cozy and comfy. The jeans are soft, sturdy, and strong. Woven wraps can be used for all ages of babies -from newborn to toddler- and come in a wide variety of lengths, fiber blends and patterns. This carrier has the longest learning curve, but has the most versatility of any carrier, since it can be worn on your front, hip, or back - high or lower - and with any age or size of baby. It is definitely a learned skill, but it is a skill worth learning. Woven wraps often feel like swaddling your child and often produce a similar calming effect. If you have a fussy baby or tantruming toddler, it's a great tool to use to calm your baby in a way that keeps them close, safe, while still allowing you to be hands-free.

Wearing your baby is a wonderful way to bond with your baby, get things done, and get brownie points with your wife, all at once - don't be surprised if your wife insists on taking a picture of you wearing your little one every chance she can. We love seeing daddies wear babies! Come join the conversation in our Facebook group and share your favorite daddy pictures, and tell us what your favorite daddy babywearing carrier is.

Upcoming Events:

Weekday Meeting - Thursday, April 24th, at the LDS Church on Broad River Rd. We'll be talking about how to stay cool while wearing your baby in the South Carolina heat.
Natural Mama Expo/Great Cloth Diaper Change - Saturday, April 26th, at the convention center in Downtown Columbia. We will be there helping troubleshoot carriers, display the lending library, and hoping to set a new world record for cloth diaper changing, all at the same time! Come join us and many other local vendors at this one of a kind event!

Back to the Beginning - Wearing a Newborn

Happy Sunday, Midlands Babywearers!

What an amazing week we've had! The weather has been gorgeous, the pollen has invaded our world, and we've ran our first successful fundraiser! We'll be able to add two carriers to our Lending Library, we can't wait to debut them in the very near future! Thank you  to everyone who placed an amber necklace order, we'll keep you posted as they ship and when they arrive.

Warning - this post will include lots of pictures of very young babies. If you are at all prone to baby fever, you may want to skip this post *wink*

We get a lot of questions from first time parents, and pregnant mamas new to babywearing, about what is the best carrier they can get for a newborn. I'm going to go through the most common types of carriers and rate them based on ease of use, nursing, versatility for mom and dad, longevity (will it last you through toddlerhood?), and cost, each on a scale of 1-5. Especially on the cost element, the rating will be variable, but I'll include a link to a couple options to give you an idea. These are not listed in any particular order.

Stretchy wraps

Amber, with baby #1

Katrina, nursing N in a K'tan

Stretchy wraps are basically a long, long piece of knit cotton. They are soft and stretchy, very comfortable for a young, lightweight baby. Examples include: Moby wrap, Sleepy/Boba wrap, Infantino makes one now, and the Baby K'tan. These are great beginner carriers, a bit of a learning curve is involved to figure out how to use them, but you can get it mostly situated (tie it before putting baby in) which helps with the ease of use. This carrier is for front carries only. Do not attempt back carries in a stretchy wrap, the fabric sags too much and your baby is not safe. Great for both mom and dads, as these are available in many gender neutral colors and patterns.

One downside is that these can get a little hot in summer, due to all the layers of fabric, and the blend of fibers (cotton and spandex or lycra) is not the most breathable option. A great option that's a little more pricey (but still very affordable) is the Gyspy Mama Bali Hybrid Stretch. It's still soft, but thinner and more breathable, plus it's much more supportive than the traditional stretchy wraps. You can nurse in any version of a stretchy wrap, as you can in any carrier, with a bit of practice, though I wouldn't call them the easiest to nurse in. Most babies will become too heavy for this carrier in the 12-15 lb range. After the 15 lb mark, these can continue to be useful and comfortable as long as you continue to wrap very tightly; they will continue to be supportive. But again, these are only for FRONT carries. Many parents prefer to move baby to back carriers around 5-6 months of age, once baby has good head control and is starting to try to sit up. After the 15 lb mark, the fabric sags more easily, unless you are a very careful, tight wrapper, and many parents find it pulls on their backs and is less comfortable.

Depending on the size of your baby, you will get 2-6 months of use from this carrier. Buying one (new) ranges between $40-$80 dollars (for the Bali Stretch). You will probably be able to resell a Moby for about half its original value, and the Bali Stretch for nearly all of its original value (though the Bali Stretch you can use for much longer weight wise). The Baby K'tan is three loops of stretchy fabric that requires no tying, but mimics the carry you do with a Moby or Boba Wrap. I found it much easier to use, though you must buy the correct size to ensure a proper fit, which means that you may not be able to share this carrier between parents.

Ease of Use: 3.5 (the baby k'tan I'd say was closer to a 5, but most wraps are closer to a 3 for the learning curve and amount of fabric can be overwhelming)
Nursing: 2 - it's possible, but I don't know anyone that has found this the easiest carrier to nurse in. It's difficult to maintain the snugness of the wrap while lowering baby to the right level for nursing.
Versatility: 4 - both mom and dads can use the same carrier easily, except for the Baby K'tan
Longevity: 1 - this has the shortest life span of any carrier I know of.
Cost: 1 - one of the most affordable options, especially if you buy used or can DIY.

Where to buy - most big box retailers carry Moby on their shelves, and often the Baby K'tan, too. Links listed here: Moby, Boba Wrap, Infantino Sync, Baby K'tan, Wrapsody/Bali Breeze Hybrid Stretch

Woven Wraps

Chris and baby S

Laura and squish

Like the stretchy wrap, a woven wrap is a long piece of fabric that you tie to yourself to secure your baby. Unlike a stretchy wrap, a woven wrap is not knit fabric. The fabric is woven especially for babywearing with the right blend of give and support that makes it both comfortable and secure for long periods of time. Woven wraps can be used for newborns and continue to be used until your child no longer wants to be worn. You can even use a woven wrap to wrap a newborn on your back, since the baby can be secured high enough to be safe, and sturdy enough they will sag or slump out of it, compromising their airway and safety.

Our first successful back carry!

Caveat regarding newborn back wearing: this is an advanced skill. In most of the babywearing community you will see it recommended for people who have been wrapping a while (and therefore on their 2nd or subsequent wrapped baby). Wrapping a newborn on your back is hard work - you need to get baby very high, as in the picture you see with Laura and her youngest. You must pay extra attention to making sure baby is as upright and supported as possible to maintain their airway. I maintain that a newer wearer *can* learn this, if they are patient, persistent, and are very careful. Having access to help (like your local babywearing group) is key for this. Full Disclosure: I was this mom. I wore my first kid, in a Moby wrap at first, and later in an Ergo. My second baby was born when my first was 22 months old, and I wanted her on my back (so I could carry my oldest and DO ALL THE THINGS more easily) as soon as possible, and this seemed to be most possible in a woven wrap. I researched, I asked the local babywearing group, and I dived head first into back-wrapping her when she was 8 weeks old with my first woven wrap. Like any new back-wrapper, sweat, tears, bad words, and lots of bent over shuffling to a mirror happened before we had our first successful back carry.

Generally speaking - it really is best to wait until 4-6 months for back wrapping. Having a larger baby makes a TON of difference in how easy it is to wrap them. You don't need to reach as high to get your passes over their tiny bodies. They cooperate (read: cling) much better.  Babywearing is a lot like breastfeeding. Both you and baby have to learn how to do it. As you gain confidence, baby will be much calmer and easier to wrap. That's why it's a good idea to be comfortable with front carries first, before moving to back carries. Trust me, once baby is on your back, you will love having them there! Except, of course, when they spit up down your shirt, or into your hair . . . But there is time for that. My daughter is now almost 3 years old, and her happy spot is still on my back, wrapped or not, she loves to climb up and snuggle her head between my shoulder blades.



FWCC - the passes are bunched
instead of spread, here.

Using a woven wrap in a front carry is accomplished the same way you do a stretchy wrap, only since the fabric is NOT stretchy, it is more supportive and you do not need to get it as tight to your body before putting in baby. However, again, since it is not stretchy, but woven, you need to take a little more time once baby is in the wrap to make sure it is the appropriate snugness,  before you tie it. More on the Front Wrap Cross Carry (commonly used for newborns) that can be done in either a stretchy or woven wrap can be found HERE. 

Woven wraps can fit anybody, especially the most common starter size, which is a size 6, will easily work for both mom and dad. With woven wraps it is not so much about "will it fit" but more about "what can you do" with a certain size. Woven wraps are very variable in price. You can find woven wraps for around $100 new for a size 6, especially if you are buying used, or from a budget-friendly brand, like Storchenwiege, Little Frog, Dolcino, Hoppediz, etc. The prices can get closer to $200 for other brands, like Kokadi, Natibaby, Oscha,  Didymos, or Vatanai. The main things I encourage people who are looking for their first woven to look for are 100% cotton fabrics (these are easy to care for and maintain, and hold up really well. They also soften up nicely, in most cases), and something pretty that you love the look of. If you are new to wrapping, having different colored edges (rails) is handy as are stripes, as it makes tightening the wrap a bit easier. If this is the option you want, but maybe not the price point you can afford, read more about Babywearing on a Budget, HERE.

Ease of Use: 2 - Woven Wraps have one of the steepest learning curves, but once you know how, it's a great tool in your parenting toolbox
Nursing: 3 - definitely possible, but sometimes a little tricky to get started. Once you find the sweet spot (how low you need to get baby), it works wonderfully.
Versatility: 5 - a great carrier to share between parents - however many men prefer the ease of buckles to wrapping.
Longevity: 5 - this will last you well into toddlerhood. While there is a "weight" limit on any baby carrier, you can carry any size child in a woven wrap.
Cost: 3-5 - there is an option for most budgets.

Where to buy: if you are buying new, check out some great websites like Purple Elm Baby, Marsupial Mamas, Hip Mommy, Birdies Room, or the manufacture's websites for the brands listed above. Used, check out The Babywearing Swap, but read our How-to-Navigate the Swap post HERE, first.

Mei Tai

Chris and Blayne, same baby, same MT

Whether you say this May-Tie or My-Tie, the truth is, this is a great carrier for any age. The Mei Tai can easily be adapted for use for a newborn and last you through toddlerhood. What makes it a great choice for a newborn is mostly ease of use for the parent. It is a rectangular piece of fabric, with long straps at each of the four corners. Depending on the waist band, it can either be rolled under to shorten for a younger baby, or you can use a hair tie/scrunchie to cinch the base to fit a young baby/newborn better. As long as the back comes high enough to support the baby's head/neck, it is a good fit.



Cinched MT, to better fit newborn

Mei Tai are easy to use, with far less overwhelming fabric than a stretchy wrap. The long straps make it easy to go between parents for wearing the baby, but can be a literal drag in parking lots (one of the only cons to this carrier). There are many gender neutral patterns out to make it daddy-friendly. Nursing in it is as easy as lowering the baby to boob height and getting him or her access. As long as your baby is comfortable eating upright, you should be ok (and some reflux-y babies prefer to eat upright).  This carrier should last you at least through your baby's first year, depending on how tall they are. Weight wise, the carriers are rated at least to 35 lbs. You can also back carry in a Mei Tai (yes, even a newborn! - because it is possible to get baby good and high on your back so that you can make sure their airway stays open and you can keep a good eye/feel on their breathing - though the same caveats apply to back wrapping a newborn). You can find new Mei Tai (like the Infantino Sash) in stores for under $40, DIY them, Babyhawk is another good brand (though online only), and also there are high end versions converted from woven wraps that are on the extreme high end of the budget (more than $300 in some cases).

Anne and squish

Ease of Use: 4 - there is a learning curve on how to tie, but it is much easier than wrapping multiple yards of fabric
Nursing: 4
Versatility:5 - a great carrier to share between parents
Longevity: 4 - depending on the brand of carrier and size of your baby, this can last you beyond the first year, making it a great option for a "one and only" carrier
Cost: 2-5 - there is an option in any budget range.

Where to buy: Infantino Sash Mei, Babyhawk Mei Tai, Zanytoes (shows a few options to show price range)

Pouch Carrier

Melissa and H

This carrier is exactly as it sounds - a long pouch draped from one shoulder to wear your baby in. I do not recommend it for newborns, as it is best for any baby to worn upright in it, and it can be a challenge to get a pouch to fit snugly enough to accomplish that on a newborn. Go back to our Ergonomics post to make sure that you can check all the boxes in TICKS. It looks easy to use and is a viable option for older babies as a hip carrier. It's small and can fit in a purse or diaper bag easily. There isn't any adusting a pouch, (adjustable pouches exist, mostly by means of a set of snaps on the shoulder or rings sewn into both ends of the fabric. These don't really affect the fit on the baby as much as make it semi-usable between two wearers). Pouches (like the ones often offered up on SevenSlings.com free for shipping), are very affordable, and many are given as baby shower gifts. They are difficult to nurse in, due to the lack of adjustability. I think this is a decent option for quickly popping an older baby (5-10) months on your hip for quick trips, but the fabric it is made of is not usually very sturdy, I would not use most pouches with a heavy toddler. Bottom line - If you get one, save it for using when your baby is a little older, but I wouldn't go out of my way to purchase one.

Ease of Use:3  - looks easy, but actually can be a bit tricky to use properly
Nursing: 1
Versatility:1
Longevity: 2
Cost: 1-2

Where to buy: Seven Slings, Hotslings, Balboa Baby

Soft Structured Carrier

Carmen and baby T

Abbreviated SSC, this carrier is often the most used by dads, the buckles make it really easy to use, with a short learning curve. These are generally more suited towards older babies and toddlers, but many brands offer adaptations for newborns and young infants, like an infant insert, or infant panel that holds baby higher inside the carrier, or the base adjusts smaller for young babies. If you want one carrier to last you until you are done with wearing, this may be it. It can be challenging to use with a newborn, because even with the additional newborn supports, it may not fit your just-born baby well, though it likely will start being more comfortable for them around 2-3 months of age. These carriers cost a bit more ($100 - $200) but will last you to at least 18 months of age and resell for at least 75% of their value. 


Wearing a newborn in an SSC often requires some added maneuvering. You may need to roll a receiving blanket to boost baby up higher, or use an infant insert (sold separately in most cases), or some carriers, like Olives and Applesauce or some of the Beco line, have a built in adjustable infant harness. Others, like Lillebaby and Boba 4G and other Beco carriers, have an adjustable seat, that snaps in a bit narrower to be more comfortable for smaller babies.

A subset of this group is the narrow based carrier - like a Baby Bjorn or Snuggli. These do suit smaller babies a bit better, but the way they are designed - especially the less expensive versions without a waistbelt - make them harder on the parent since the baby's weight isn't distributed well. Also, the "narrow-based" part makes them not as supportive for the baby. (again, refer to our post on Ergonomics). Do not face your newborn out - this is not recommended, even by the manufacturers, until your baby has good head and neck control. Baby is most comfortable when she can curl into her parent, and her spine is in a C-shape and her legs are in a froggied position. This group of carriers, like the above mentioned pouch, is probably best for babies ages 4-10 months - once baby has good head control, but before they get too heavy.

The ratings below apply to the main group of SSCs, like Ergo, Boba 4G, and Kinderpack (which makes an infant model), etc

Ease of Use: 5 -the buckles make this one of the most straight forward options
Nursing: 3 - nursing a newborn in a SSC can be a challenge, but nursing in an SSC is as easy as adjusting it low enough to provide access to your breast for the baby.
Versatility: 5
Longevity: 4-5 - depending on the SSC chosen. Check out last week's blog post for details.
Cost: 4 - you can find good deals on Ergo with coupons and discount sites, but generally you are looking at $100+ for an SSC

Where to buy: Ergo, Boba 4G,  Kinderpack, Beco Soleil and Gemini 

Ring Sling

Ashleigh and baby M

Chris and baby S

Emily and baby R

A ring sling is a long piece of fabric sewn on to a pair of Sling Rings on one end and which you thread the other end through, making a continuous, adjustable loop. This is a one shouldered carrier, and by far a favorite for newborns. They can be found in a variety of fabrics, including ones sewn from a woven wrap, but even those can often be found for a reasonable price. I like these for newborns because they are easy to use, easy to position baby in, easy to nurse in, small enough to fold into a larger purse or diaper bag, and they can work easily on mom or dad. Ring slings can be used into toddlerhood, when your toddler wants up and down frequently and you want something fast. They are generally not recommend for carrying larger babies and toddlers for long periods of time, since the weight is distributed only on one shoulder. Honestly, I carry my 24 lb+ 18 month old in one, and as long as I'm careful to spread the fabric across my back, the weight is distributed comfortably across my torso, and I can carry him for as long as he will permit without it bothering my back or shoulder. Ring Slings should not be worn for back carries - my main concern with back carries in a ring sling is seat popping. There is only one pass of fabric going over baby's bottom, and most older babies tend to have times where they squirm and bounce, which can cause them to lose their seat without warning.

Ring Slings are relatively affordable, starting at around $50 for basic fabric ones (less if you DIY), and going up to maybe as much as $150 for ones converted from a woven wrap. I wrote a longer post all about ring slings HERE.  They are sized, but size only matters insomuch as it has to do with how much tail you have left over. The tail also makes a handy nursing cover, to flip over an exposed breast, or cover a sleeping baby from the sun. If buying from an Etsy shop, be sure to check to see if the maker is a BCIA member and CPSIA compliant.

Ease of Use: 4 - very easy to use, with a slight learning curve on how to adjust the tightness
Nursing: 4 - easy to nurse in, I usually slide baby into a cradle position and support their head with one arm.
Versatility:5
Longevity: 3 - you can use this well into toddlerhood for short trips, but not recommended for longer trips or back carries
Cost: 2-4

Where to buy: Sleeping Baby (SBP), Zanytoes, Sakura Bloom, Babyette

As always, you can buy any of these used on The Babywearing Swap or sell your newborn carrier to fund one for your older baby - check out how to navigate it HERE.

Bottom line - there are a lot of great options for wearing your newborn - finding the right one for you may take a little trial and error - but I guarantee you will find something both your and your baby will love to use, and still reap all the benefits of babywearing - closeness, ability to get things done (hands-free!), and building that great relationship as your baby grows.

Upcoming Events:

Saturday, April l2th, at the LDS building on Assembly Street, we are going to discuss Daddy Babywearing - we look forward to seeing the whole family there.

Thursday, April 24th, at the LDS church on Broad River Rd, we will talk about wearing in the heat and how to stay cool (or as cool as possible) while wearing your baby.

Saturday April 26th, at the Convention Center Downtown, is the Natural Mama Expo/Great Cloth Diaper Change - we will have a table set up with our Lending Library and look forward to meeting people and helping them choose or troubleshoot their carriers.

Come join the discussion in our Facebook group, or leave a comment here with your favorite way to wear your newborn.