Get your Group On - a Babywearer's Guide to Facebook Groups

Happy Sunday, Midlands Babywearers!

It is scorching outside this weekend - I hope you all are either enjoying the air conditioning or have your "toes in the water, a** in the sand" somewhere. It's too hot for anything else! At least you get to put our Hot Weather Babywearing tips to good use. If you have, please hop on over to our Facebook group and tell us how they are working for you. We'd love to see pictures of  your water/mesh baby carriers, what woven wraps you prefer in the heat, and which brands/styles of Mei Tai and SSC/Buckle carriers work the best in the South Carolina weather for you and your little ones.


It's no secret that I'm on Facebook a LOT. And I'm in a LOT of groups, many of the them having something to do with babywearing. I love babywearing. In real life, if I spot a babywearer, it's like I know immediately we have something in common and we can be friends. As a former military brat, I don't like wasting time on friendships that won't work. If you babywear, chances are we already have something to talk about, and we probably have lots of other things in common, too, like cloth diapering, co-sleeping, breastfeeding (and chances are, if the babywearer doesn't breast feed it's not because she didn't want to, and I can sympathize with that), homeschooling, online shopping, and lots of other things. I mean, not all Babywearers do ALL of these things, but chances are good that a fellow babywearer does at least one of them. Or is curious about it. Call babywearing a gateway into Crunchy-ville or Attachment Parenting/Natural Parenting-land if you will - I don't know why, but it is.

In fact, I found my current mama tribe through babywearing, because I asked my doula about natural parenting groups in the area, and she pointed me to the Babywearers, which led to the awesomeness that became Babywearers of the Midlands. Babywearers are just awesome. Especially the local ones!

Now, out in the wider world, there are lots and lots of other babywearing groups on Facebook. There are more every day, and I thought it would be helpful to give you the rundown on the ones I'm familiar with, so you know where to go to get advice, where to Buy/Sell/Trade, where to go for a laugh, and groups that you might want a few pointers on before joining or posting.

 

Babywearing Advice/Support Groups

Babywearing 102

This group got off and running not too long ago, as a better, friendlier place than Babywearing Love and Support (which you will see abbreviated elsewhere as BLS). At first, the group was awesome. The admins were fantastic, it really was an open, drama free environment to share stashes, ask questions, and share knowledge. It's grown exponentially since it's opening, and as a result, it sometimes gets out of hand. The Good: it's huge, most questions get answered. The files section is FANTASTIC. Join there just to check out the files. Much of my advice and knowledge here comes from reading their files. How to ship internationally, to how to nurse in carriers, to what wraps are best for what carries, they've got it covered. They have great Tumblrs, and used to have informative blog posts - all of which are archived under the Files. Check. It. Out. The Bad: it's huge, it moves very, very quickly, and due to it's size, I (and those that admin it. I'm NOT an admin over there), can't always stay on top of all the posts. Which leads me to The Ugly: The advice and comments over there *can* get nasty and rude and downright mean. I consider myself a seasoned babywearer, and I rarely post pics of wrap jobs over there, because everyone is a critic, even if you are not asking for advice. Many of the members forget that they are talking to REAL people over there and forget their filter somewhere along the way. Bottom Line: it's worth joining, mostly for the body of knowledge found under the files. If you have questions or need advice, I'd ask elsewhere though.

Related: 102 Off Topic

A place to ask questions of your Babywearing 102 friends that have nothing to do with babywearing. Sometimes this is just things like, "how to wash cloth diapers" or "what color should I dye my hair next", sometimes it is deliberate internet bashing. (which the admins, to their credit do their best to quash.) This is their pinned post:

"**ADMIN*** The rule is "no personal attacks." It is not "no name calling." If you don't want to be called a jerk, don't act like one. You guys are adults, stop tattling to us every time someone disagrees with you or your friend. Cut it out before we delete this whole group because you guys can't handle yourselves. The rule says admin discretion, this is an unpaid and unappreciated job. Trolling will not be tolerated. Tighten up and carry on."

Join in the fun, but tread with care.

 

Everyday Babywearing

 

Created as the chatter group for Babywearing on a Budget, this is a friendly group that welcomes beginner questions, has specific topics every day (like Technique Tuesday and Guru Friday). They ask new members to introduce themselves, and instead of having a completely separate OT group, any OT chatter is directed to the daily Coffee Talk threads.

Babwearing for the Plus Size Mama

Self exlplanatory: this is welcoming group for women who want to wear their babies but are curvier than average.

Wrapper's Delight: Beyond the Basics

This is a community that focuses on woven wraps. It's smaller than Babywearing 102, and the majority of the members here are well-seasoned Babywearers. They have great advice, and beautiful stashes. This is where wrappers go to "geek out" so to speak. The good: the advice here can be trusted, and it's usually delivered tactfully. If you want to learn more about GSM (grams per square meter), handwoven woven wrap lines, upcoming releases, limited editions, etc, this is the place to go. The bad: This group can seem a little exclusive, due to the geekery and terminology a novice wrapper may be unfamiliar with. But, give it time, and they'll either grow on you, or you'll find a better fitting group elsewhere. The ugly: The Stash Shot Saturday's here will have you green with envy. They are seriously amazing collections, which is wonderful for collectors, but a bit hard to look at for some.

related: these brand specific groups often have news about upcoming releases, exclusives, action shots of wraps, and most allow b/s/t.

Didymos love and appreciation
Kokadi addicts - US
Natibaby FSOT
Natibaby Love
Little Frog Exclusive Wraps
The Pavo Society
Artipoppe Slings
Oscha Slings

This is not an exhaustive list. Virtually every wrap maker has its own fan page and b/s/t group now. I've listed the ones I know about, and ones that are closed, but searchable. I know for a fact there are other "secret" Facebook groups, that you have to know someone in order to be added.

Buckle Up! SSC and Buckle Carrier Users Of All Kinds Unite!

*full disclosure* This is a group I personally created, to discuss and "geek out" over buckle carriers. Most of the SSCs out there have individual fan pages, but there was not a good place to compare them. You *can* do that sort of thing in Babywearing 102, but it gets overrun by people using other sorts of carriers (not that there is anything wrong with that), and it's nearly impossible to get an honest answer about other carriers on fan pages. This group is a fledgling, but hopefully will continue to grow as a resource.

Related: Kinderpack Chatter and B/S/T

Go here to ask questions about which size KP to buy, whether you like solar veil, comfort mesh, or kool knit better, and buy, sell, and trade used kinderpacks. This is not the place to go to ask if Tula is better than KP. (which is why I created the above group). This group is relatively drama free, and the owner of KP is a member of the page, which I think helps keep drama and bickering down to a minimum.

Related: Tula Love

This is the chatter forum for Tula SSC. I've heard rumors about drama in this group, but haven't seen much. (drama seems mostly related to b/s/t transactions gone awry). Same deal here, ask questions about sizing, exclusive releases, and share pictures of your cuties in your Tula. Tula B/S/T is here. and here and here and here.

Related: Madame GooGoo b/s/t

This is the mostly b/s/t group for Madame GooGoo baby carriers. She's a Polish seamstress that makes gorgeous canvas and wrap conversion carriers with amazing attention to detail and that are high quality. This group includes some chatter, but is mostly b/s/t.

Put a Ring on It

Also a new group - a place to discuss different styles, shoulders, and makers of ring slings, and b/s/t.
Check it out and help it grow, by sharing it with your friends.

 

General Buy/Sell/Trade groups.

General commentary on these groups, and b/s/t in any of the groups that permit it: Feedback is a must. Most groups accept feedback links (to an album you create and others comment on) for The Babyearing Swap Feedback. Some groups have their own feedback groups. When a group requires a feedback link, please be mindful in ALL of your transactions to leave honest feedback, both as a buyer and a seller. This feedback is how we stay accountable for these transactions. It's how you can sometimes find carriers you've sold (by tracing b/s/t feedback) in the event you ever want to track down a carrier that you loved. Feedback is important!  Paypal. Always, always, pay goods/services. Yes, the seller will incur fees. They are minimal, and they should be pricing their items with the fees in mind. If you as a buyer offer less than what is listed, the seller, if they accept your offer, should still be mindful that fees will be charged. If I recall correctly, Paypal fees are like 3%. When you buy as goods/services, it offers you protection through paypal should the transaction go badly or if you don't receive your item. If you buy as friends/family/gifted, there are no fees, and no protection. This is essentially b/s/t at your own risk, and not worth it (in my very humble opinion) - the only exception to this is when you buy something on a payment plan, as each payment is only insured through paypal for that amount. In that case, often you will do one payment as goods, and the rest as gifted, but that is really up to the parties involved in the transaction. Bottom Line:  I say all of this not to scare you away from buying in these groups, but just to make sure you go in with a clear mind and know what to expect. If a buyer or seller asks you to do something fishy, it probably is. Trust your instincts!

The Babywearing Swap

See my blog post detailing it, and how to navigate it here. It's so serious it needed its own post. Seriously.

Babywearing on a Budget

All carriers here are $100 or less, it's a great place to find a bargain on any carrier, or sell one, especially if you are selling a less sought after brand, like infantino (which does make great, budget friendly ergonomic options), DIY carriers, etc, that may not sell as well on The Babywearing Swap. This group has its own feedback group, Babywearing on a Budget Feedback.

Local Groups that you may find carriers in:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/LexingtonMoms3/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/123062517859720/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/Lexingonmomsnorules/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ColaSC/

High End Babywearing Swap

To be perfectly honest, I'm only in this group to ogle the pretties, and to find out how much the hand wovens and highly sought after things go for. To post here, the wraps (and wrap conversions) are priced at AT LEAST $375 PPD, and often for hundreds more.


I think that's the general gist of all the babywearing groups - If you aren't already in some of these, I highly suggest joining the fun. Like all things babywearing, it's addictive, and should come with an appropriate disclaimer. Consider this your warning.

Upcoming Events:

Babywearing Yoga. Yes, we will be babywearing. And doing Yoga. AT THE SAME TIME. This will be a class for all skill levels, including children that want to participate, Led by our very own Emily Thompson, who also teaches yoga classes at Expecting Well. Dress comfortably, bring kids of all ages, and don't forget your sense of humor. This should be a fun class. Like all meetings, we will open the floor to questions and carrier trouble shooting after the main portion of the meeting.  Please remember this is a peanut-free facility.
Thursday, June 26th at the LDS Church on Broad River Rd, from 10:00 a.m. to  . . .

Midlands Baby, Kid, and Family Expo. This is a huge event, with tons of vendors, including US! We will be giving a live demonstration at 11:30, and we will also have a booth for answering questions, displaying the lending library, and troubleshooting carriers.
Saturday, June 28th from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. at the Convention Center, Downtown Columbia

A walk down memory lane, a look at where we are now, and a glimpse of the future

Happy Monday, Midlands Babywearers!

What better way to perk up your Monday than with a blog post? I hope everyone's weekend was as busy and fun-filled as ours was. We had a great meeting on Saturday, birthday party after, and then our family spent the night at the Big Mo watching How to Train Your Dragon 2. If you've not been to the Big Mo with your family, it's worth the drive. There is no more family friendly movie viewing venue than this landmark drive-in. There is playground equipment for the kids to scramble on while you wait for the movie to start, reasonably priced concessions if you don't bring your own food, and the price can't be beat ($8 per adult for a double feature, $4 for kids 4 and up, 3 and under are free). I spotted at least one other fellow babywearer out there, using a ring sling. My only caveat is that you should bring bug spray. But that's the South, right?

 

Memory Lane . . .

Chris,
at one of the earliest meetings

Back to business - you all may or may not know, but Sunday, June 15th marked our six month anniversary! On one hand, I can't believe it's been only 6 months! We've grown to well over 300 members in a very short time frame, and I think we feel so much more established than that 6 month time frame implies. It wasn't too long ago a group of us met at Saluda Shoals and began planning this group. There was a babywearing community already in existence, but it seemed stagnant at the time, and we wanted to get more involved and make it more dynamic, and grow!

So, we gathered again, and again, and through a lot of discussion, thought, and prayer, Babywearers of the Midlands was born January 15th, 2014. We couldn't be more proud of this open, welcoming, and positive group of parents that form our local babywearing community. We are awesome because YOU are awesome. The generosity and kindness we see everyday in the Facebook group astounds me. We love you guys!

This blog has been my personal pet project - In the last six months we've covered different carrier types, like Ring Slings, and SSC/Buckle Carriers. We've talked about how to wear in all types of weather (Hot and Cold), Babywearing basics, including where to buy both online and locally (and how to afford it), how to care for your carrier, why we wear (both ergonomically and emotionally.) We've covered babywearing for newborns and for toddlers, babywearing for dads and plus size moms. We've shown you front carries and back carries. And yet! this is only the tip of the iceberg! There is so much we can talk about when it comes to babywearing. We could talk about it all day long - I almost feel like I'm writing a babywearing version of Green Eggs and Ham. (I could wear him here or there, I could wear him anywhere!)

Katrina, wearing T at the Zoo

I've gotten personal and I would really love if some of you would, too. There is something so fascinating about hearing someone else's journey. If any one of you want to talk about your babywearing journey (whether you've been wearing for 6 months, 6 years, or 16 years), we would really love it if you'd want to do a guest post and share it with us.

 

Where we are now . . .

Especially for those new to the group, this is what we do. We have two Official meetings each month.  Each meeting has a specific topic which we spend about 30 minutes covering, then the meeting opens up for questions, carrier troubleshooting, and lending library rentals. Meetings generally last about 90 minutes total, but have known to both go longer and shorter than that.

Our Saturday meeting is held at the LDS Institute of Religion located at 610 Assembly St, Columbia, SC. There is ample parking, we bring toys for the toddlers to play with, and there is really no time limit on our use of the building.

Our Thursday meeting is held at the LDS Church located at 7449 Broad River Rd, Columbia, SC. We have use of the large gymnasium area, and all of the church nursery toys are available for our use, and again, we don't really have a limit on the time we use the building.

Both buildings are peanut-free facilities, so we always ask that you choose any snacks and drinks you bring with your children carefully. Both meetings start roughly at 10:00 a.m. and last as long as needed to make sure everyone is helped. It is our goal that no one walks away from a meeting with questions unanswered. That's one reason why we have as many admins/leaders as we do, and why we encourage peer-to-peer help. Don't be afraid to ask questions, and don't think that you are unqualified to answer. We are all Babywearers with experience and knowledge to share. As leaders, myself, Jackie, Chris, Emily, and Ashleigh, feel it's our responsibility to bring structure to the group, to maintain a harmonious vibe, and generally oversee things.

Melissa, Chris, and Emily at a play date

We also schedule play dates as often as we can, sometimes as much as once or twice a week. These are opportunities to socialize, get informal help, and try out carries and carriers outside of the formal meeting structure. There's usually at least one or two leaders present at play dates, and we try to vary the locations, to cover the wide area that is the midlands, including the Northeast, Irmo, and in the future we'd love to schedule some play dates further afield to meet the Babywearers who live on the outskirts of Columbia.

Every Wednesday evening, around 8:30 p.m., we have a live chat where we talk about everything going on with us, babywearing or not. It's a fun time to catch up with friends that sometimes have a hard time making it to meetings, due to work or family logistics, and or just talk with some other adults.

If you ever want to schedule a play date, post on the wall in the Facebook group, and we will work it out. This also goes for things like "Hey, I'm headed to the Zoo! anybody want to join?" type things. We love things like this - it helps us get to know each other better, builds friendships and community. All good things!

 

A Glimpse in the Future



A peek at our promotional flyer

As we grow, we are developing a more public presence. This is both exciting and terrifying for us, as we join the public stage. It's great that we are being asked to have a voice in the local community, and it's even better that we are seeing babywearing become more common in the Midlands. We love babywearing (obviously), and we love to share it, too! To this end, we've been asked to join the Midlands Baby and Kids Expo later this month (June 28th). We'll have a table and do a live demonstration on babywearing. It looks to be a huge event, with lots of vendors and attendees. We hope to see many of you there, and possibly meet some new Babywearers. We did a smaller event in April, in conjunction with the Great Cloth Diaper Change, and this looks to be at least double in size. We are very excited to participate, and looking forward to doing many more events like this in the future.

Come check us out!

Back to the Beginning - Wearing a Newborn

Happy Sunday, Midlands Babywearers!

What an amazing week we've had! The weather has been gorgeous, the pollen has invaded our world, and we've ran our first successful fundraiser! We'll be able to add two carriers to our Lending Library, we can't wait to debut them in the very near future! Thank you  to everyone who placed an amber necklace order, we'll keep you posted as they ship and when they arrive.

Warning - this post will include lots of pictures of very young babies. If you are at all prone to baby fever, you may want to skip this post *wink*

We get a lot of questions from first time parents, and pregnant mamas new to babywearing, about what is the best carrier they can get for a newborn. I'm going to go through the most common types of carriers and rate them based on ease of use, nursing, versatility for mom and dad, longevity (will it last you through toddlerhood?), and cost, each on a scale of 1-5. Especially on the cost element, the rating will be variable, but I'll include a link to a couple options to give you an idea. These are not listed in any particular order.

Stretchy wraps

Amber, with baby #1

Katrina, nursing N in a K'tan

Stretchy wraps are basically a long, long piece of knit cotton. They are soft and stretchy, very comfortable for a young, lightweight baby. Examples include: Moby wrap, Sleepy/Boba wrap, Infantino makes one now, and the Baby K'tan. These are great beginner carriers, a bit of a learning curve is involved to figure out how to use them, but you can get it mostly situated (tie it before putting baby in) which helps with the ease of use. This carrier is for front carries only. Do not attempt back carries in a stretchy wrap, the fabric sags too much and your baby is not safe. Great for both mom and dads, as these are available in many gender neutral colors and patterns.

One downside is that these can get a little hot in summer, due to all the layers of fabric, and the blend of fibers (cotton and spandex or lycra) is not the most breathable option. A great option that's a little more pricey (but still very affordable) is the Gyspy Mama Bali Hybrid Stretch. It's still soft, but thinner and more breathable, plus it's much more supportive than the traditional stretchy wraps. You can nurse in any version of a stretchy wrap, as you can in any carrier, with a bit of practice, though I wouldn't call them the easiest to nurse in. Most babies will become too heavy for this carrier in the 12-15 lb range. After the 15 lb mark, these can continue to be useful and comfortable as long as you continue to wrap very tightly; they will continue to be supportive. But again, these are only for FRONT carries. Many parents prefer to move baby to back carriers around 5-6 months of age, once baby has good head control and is starting to try to sit up. After the 15 lb mark, the fabric sags more easily, unless you are a very careful, tight wrapper, and many parents find it pulls on their backs and is less comfortable.

Depending on the size of your baby, you will get 2-6 months of use from this carrier. Buying one (new) ranges between $40-$80 dollars (for the Bali Stretch). You will probably be able to resell a Moby for about half its original value, and the Bali Stretch for nearly all of its original value (though the Bali Stretch you can use for much longer weight wise). The Baby K'tan is three loops of stretchy fabric that requires no tying, but mimics the carry you do with a Moby or Boba Wrap. I found it much easier to use, though you must buy the correct size to ensure a proper fit, which means that you may not be able to share this carrier between parents.

Ease of Use: 3.5 (the baby k'tan I'd say was closer to a 5, but most wraps are closer to a 3 for the learning curve and amount of fabric can be overwhelming)
Nursing: 2 - it's possible, but I don't know anyone that has found this the easiest carrier to nurse in. It's difficult to maintain the snugness of the wrap while lowering baby to the right level for nursing.
Versatility: 4 - both mom and dads can use the same carrier easily, except for the Baby K'tan
Longevity: 1 - this has the shortest life span of any carrier I know of.
Cost: 1 - one of the most affordable options, especially if you buy used or can DIY.

Where to buy - most big box retailers carry Moby on their shelves, and often the Baby K'tan, too. Links listed here: Moby, Boba Wrap, Infantino Sync, Baby K'tan, Wrapsody/Bali Breeze Hybrid Stretch

Woven Wraps

Chris and baby S

Laura and squish

Like the stretchy wrap, a woven wrap is a long piece of fabric that you tie to yourself to secure your baby. Unlike a stretchy wrap, a woven wrap is not knit fabric. The fabric is woven especially for babywearing with the right blend of give and support that makes it both comfortable and secure for long periods of time. Woven wraps can be used for newborns and continue to be used until your child no longer wants to be worn. You can even use a woven wrap to wrap a newborn on your back, since the baby can be secured high enough to be safe, and sturdy enough they will sag or slump out of it, compromising their airway and safety.

Our first successful back carry!

Caveat regarding newborn back wearing: this is an advanced skill. In most of the babywearing community you will see it recommended for people who have been wrapping a while (and therefore on their 2nd or subsequent wrapped baby). Wrapping a newborn on your back is hard work - you need to get baby very high, as in the picture you see with Laura and her youngest. You must pay extra attention to making sure baby is as upright and supported as possible to maintain their airway. I maintain that a newer wearer *can* learn this, if they are patient, persistent, and are very careful. Having access to help (like your local babywearing group) is key for this. Full Disclosure: I was this mom. I wore my first kid, in a Moby wrap at first, and later in an Ergo. My second baby was born when my first was 22 months old, and I wanted her on my back (so I could carry my oldest and DO ALL THE THINGS more easily) as soon as possible, and this seemed to be most possible in a woven wrap. I researched, I asked the local babywearing group, and I dived head first into back-wrapping her when she was 8 weeks old with my first woven wrap. Like any new back-wrapper, sweat, tears, bad words, and lots of bent over shuffling to a mirror happened before we had our first successful back carry.

Generally speaking - it really is best to wait until 4-6 months for back wrapping. Having a larger baby makes a TON of difference in how easy it is to wrap them. You don't need to reach as high to get your passes over their tiny bodies. They cooperate (read: cling) much better.  Babywearing is a lot like breastfeeding. Both you and baby have to learn how to do it. As you gain confidence, baby will be much calmer and easier to wrap. That's why it's a good idea to be comfortable with front carries first, before moving to back carries. Trust me, once baby is on your back, you will love having them there! Except, of course, when they spit up down your shirt, or into your hair . . . But there is time for that. My daughter is now almost 3 years old, and her happy spot is still on my back, wrapped or not, she loves to climb up and snuggle her head between my shoulder blades.



FWCC - the passes are bunched
instead of spread, here.

Using a woven wrap in a front carry is accomplished the same way you do a stretchy wrap, only since the fabric is NOT stretchy, it is more supportive and you do not need to get it as tight to your body before putting in baby. However, again, since it is not stretchy, but woven, you need to take a little more time once baby is in the wrap to make sure it is the appropriate snugness,  before you tie it. More on the Front Wrap Cross Carry (commonly used for newborns) that can be done in either a stretchy or woven wrap can be found HERE. 

Woven wraps can fit anybody, especially the most common starter size, which is a size 6, will easily work for both mom and dad. With woven wraps it is not so much about "will it fit" but more about "what can you do" with a certain size. Woven wraps are very variable in price. You can find woven wraps for around $100 new for a size 6, especially if you are buying used, or from a budget-friendly brand, like Storchenwiege, Little Frog, Dolcino, Hoppediz, etc. The prices can get closer to $200 for other brands, like Kokadi, Natibaby, Oscha,  Didymos, or Vatanai. The main things I encourage people who are looking for their first woven to look for are 100% cotton fabrics (these are easy to care for and maintain, and hold up really well. They also soften up nicely, in most cases), and something pretty that you love the look of. If you are new to wrapping, having different colored edges (rails) is handy as are stripes, as it makes tightening the wrap a bit easier. If this is the option you want, but maybe not the price point you can afford, read more about Babywearing on a Budget, HERE.

Ease of Use: 2 - Woven Wraps have one of the steepest learning curves, but once you know how, it's a great tool in your parenting toolbox
Nursing: 3 - definitely possible, but sometimes a little tricky to get started. Once you find the sweet spot (how low you need to get baby), it works wonderfully.
Versatility: 5 - a great carrier to share between parents - however many men prefer the ease of buckles to wrapping.
Longevity: 5 - this will last you well into toddlerhood. While there is a "weight" limit on any baby carrier, you can carry any size child in a woven wrap.
Cost: 3-5 - there is an option for most budgets.

Where to buy: if you are buying new, check out some great websites like Purple Elm Baby, Marsupial Mamas, Hip Mommy, Birdies Room, or the manufacture's websites for the brands listed above. Used, check out The Babywearing Swap, but read our How-to-Navigate the Swap post HERE, first.

Mei Tai

Chris and Blayne, same baby, same MT

Whether you say this May-Tie or My-Tie, the truth is, this is a great carrier for any age. The Mei Tai can easily be adapted for use for a newborn and last you through toddlerhood. What makes it a great choice for a newborn is mostly ease of use for the parent. It is a rectangular piece of fabric, with long straps at each of the four corners. Depending on the waist band, it can either be rolled under to shorten for a younger baby, or you can use a hair tie/scrunchie to cinch the base to fit a young baby/newborn better. As long as the back comes high enough to support the baby's head/neck, it is a good fit.



Cinched MT, to better fit newborn

Mei Tai are easy to use, with far less overwhelming fabric than a stretchy wrap. The long straps make it easy to go between parents for wearing the baby, but can be a literal drag in parking lots (one of the only cons to this carrier). There are many gender neutral patterns out to make it daddy-friendly. Nursing in it is as easy as lowering the baby to boob height and getting him or her access. As long as your baby is comfortable eating upright, you should be ok (and some reflux-y babies prefer to eat upright).  This carrier should last you at least through your baby's first year, depending on how tall they are. Weight wise, the carriers are rated at least to 35 lbs. You can also back carry in a Mei Tai (yes, even a newborn! - because it is possible to get baby good and high on your back so that you can make sure their airway stays open and you can keep a good eye/feel on their breathing - though the same caveats apply to back wrapping a newborn). You can find new Mei Tai (like the Infantino Sash) in stores for under $40, DIY them, Babyhawk is another good brand (though online only), and also there are high end versions converted from woven wraps that are on the extreme high end of the budget (more than $300 in some cases).

Anne and squish

Ease of Use: 4 - there is a learning curve on how to tie, but it is much easier than wrapping multiple yards of fabric
Nursing: 4
Versatility:5 - a great carrier to share between parents
Longevity: 4 - depending on the brand of carrier and size of your baby, this can last you beyond the first year, making it a great option for a "one and only" carrier
Cost: 2-5 - there is an option in any budget range.

Where to buy: Infantino Sash Mei, Babyhawk Mei Tai, Zanytoes (shows a few options to show price range)

Pouch Carrier

Melissa and H

This carrier is exactly as it sounds - a long pouch draped from one shoulder to wear your baby in. I do not recommend it for newborns, as it is best for any baby to worn upright in it, and it can be a challenge to get a pouch to fit snugly enough to accomplish that on a newborn. Go back to our Ergonomics post to make sure that you can check all the boxes in TICKS. It looks easy to use and is a viable option for older babies as a hip carrier. It's small and can fit in a purse or diaper bag easily. There isn't any adusting a pouch, (adjustable pouches exist, mostly by means of a set of snaps on the shoulder or rings sewn into both ends of the fabric. These don't really affect the fit on the baby as much as make it semi-usable between two wearers). Pouches (like the ones often offered up on SevenSlings.com free for shipping), are very affordable, and many are given as baby shower gifts. They are difficult to nurse in, due to the lack of adjustability. I think this is a decent option for quickly popping an older baby (5-10) months on your hip for quick trips, but the fabric it is made of is not usually very sturdy, I would not use most pouches with a heavy toddler. Bottom line - If you get one, save it for using when your baby is a little older, but I wouldn't go out of my way to purchase one.

Ease of Use:3  - looks easy, but actually can be a bit tricky to use properly
Nursing: 1
Versatility:1
Longevity: 2
Cost: 1-2

Where to buy: Seven Slings, Hotslings, Balboa Baby

Soft Structured Carrier

Carmen and baby T

Abbreviated SSC, this carrier is often the most used by dads, the buckles make it really easy to use, with a short learning curve. These are generally more suited towards older babies and toddlers, but many brands offer adaptations for newborns and young infants, like an infant insert, or infant panel that holds baby higher inside the carrier, or the base adjusts smaller for young babies. If you want one carrier to last you until you are done with wearing, this may be it. It can be challenging to use with a newborn, because even with the additional newborn supports, it may not fit your just-born baby well, though it likely will start being more comfortable for them around 2-3 months of age. These carriers cost a bit more ($100 - $200) but will last you to at least 18 months of age and resell for at least 75% of their value. 


Wearing a newborn in an SSC often requires some added maneuvering. You may need to roll a receiving blanket to boost baby up higher, or use an infant insert (sold separately in most cases), or some carriers, like Olives and Applesauce or some of the Beco line, have a built in adjustable infant harness. Others, like Lillebaby and Boba 4G and other Beco carriers, have an adjustable seat, that snaps in a bit narrower to be more comfortable for smaller babies.

A subset of this group is the narrow based carrier - like a Baby Bjorn or Snuggli. These do suit smaller babies a bit better, but the way they are designed - especially the less expensive versions without a waistbelt - make them harder on the parent since the baby's weight isn't distributed well. Also, the "narrow-based" part makes them not as supportive for the baby. (again, refer to our post on Ergonomics). Do not face your newborn out - this is not recommended, even by the manufacturers, until your baby has good head and neck control. Baby is most comfortable when she can curl into her parent, and her spine is in a C-shape and her legs are in a froggied position. This group of carriers, like the above mentioned pouch, is probably best for babies ages 4-10 months - once baby has good head control, but before they get too heavy.

The ratings below apply to the main group of SSCs, like Ergo, Boba 4G, and Kinderpack (which makes an infant model), etc

Ease of Use: 5 -the buckles make this one of the most straight forward options
Nursing: 3 - nursing a newborn in a SSC can be a challenge, but nursing in an SSC is as easy as adjusting it low enough to provide access to your breast for the baby.
Versatility: 5
Longevity: 4-5 - depending on the SSC chosen. Check out last week's blog post for details.
Cost: 4 - you can find good deals on Ergo with coupons and discount sites, but generally you are looking at $100+ for an SSC

Where to buy: Ergo, Boba 4G,  Kinderpack, Beco Soleil and Gemini 

Ring Sling

Ashleigh and baby M

Chris and baby S

Emily and baby R

A ring sling is a long piece of fabric sewn on to a pair of Sling Rings on one end and which you thread the other end through, making a continuous, adjustable loop. This is a one shouldered carrier, and by far a favorite for newborns. They can be found in a variety of fabrics, including ones sewn from a woven wrap, but even those can often be found for a reasonable price. I like these for newborns because they are easy to use, easy to position baby in, easy to nurse in, small enough to fold into a larger purse or diaper bag, and they can work easily on mom or dad. Ring slings can be used into toddlerhood, when your toddler wants up and down frequently and you want something fast. They are generally not recommend for carrying larger babies and toddlers for long periods of time, since the weight is distributed only on one shoulder. Honestly, I carry my 24 lb+ 18 month old in one, and as long as I'm careful to spread the fabric across my back, the weight is distributed comfortably across my torso, and I can carry him for as long as he will permit without it bothering my back or shoulder. Ring Slings should not be worn for back carries - my main concern with back carries in a ring sling is seat popping. There is only one pass of fabric going over baby's bottom, and most older babies tend to have times where they squirm and bounce, which can cause them to lose their seat without warning.

Ring Slings are relatively affordable, starting at around $50 for basic fabric ones (less if you DIY), and going up to maybe as much as $150 for ones converted from a woven wrap. I wrote a longer post all about ring slings HERE.  They are sized, but size only matters insomuch as it has to do with how much tail you have left over. The tail also makes a handy nursing cover, to flip over an exposed breast, or cover a sleeping baby from the sun. If buying from an Etsy shop, be sure to check to see if the maker is a BCIA member and CPSIA compliant.

Ease of Use: 4 - very easy to use, with a slight learning curve on how to adjust the tightness
Nursing: 4 - easy to nurse in, I usually slide baby into a cradle position and support their head with one arm.
Versatility:5
Longevity: 3 - you can use this well into toddlerhood for short trips, but not recommended for longer trips or back carries
Cost: 2-4

Where to buy: Sleeping Baby (SBP), Zanytoes, Sakura Bloom, Babyette

As always, you can buy any of these used on The Babywearing Swap or sell your newborn carrier to fund one for your older baby - check out how to navigate it HERE.

Bottom line - there are a lot of great options for wearing your newborn - finding the right one for you may take a little trial and error - but I guarantee you will find something both your and your baby will love to use, and still reap all the benefits of babywearing - closeness, ability to get things done (hands-free!), and building that great relationship as your baby grows.

Upcoming Events:

Saturday, April l2th, at the LDS building on Assembly Street, we are going to discuss Daddy Babywearing - we look forward to seeing the whole family there.

Thursday, April 24th, at the LDS church on Broad River Rd, we will talk about wearing in the heat and how to stay cool (or as cool as possible) while wearing your baby.

Saturday April 26th, at the Convention Center Downtown, is the Natural Mama Expo/Great Cloth Diaper Change - we will have a table set up with our Lending Library and look forward to meeting people and helping them choose or troubleshoot their carriers.

Come join the discussion in our Facebook group, or leave a comment here with your favorite way to wear your newborn.

Invasion of "The Swap" People

Happy Sunday, Midlands Babywearers!

It's been two weeks since the last post, I am so sorry that time has gotten away from me. I hope to make this one fantastic to make up for last week's missing post. Last night, I posted this in our Facebook group, and I love it so much, I'm posting here, too.
"You are a Master Babywearer - in China, it is said that "A master is anyone who knows more than you do." So, you are all master babywearers compared with most of the moms in the world. You do NOT need to know everything there is to know about babywearing -- if you know even ONE carry with even ONE type of carrier, you are in possession of knowledge other moms desperately want -- even if they do not yet know they want it. ;-D Therefore, you should all feel confident enough to teach others! So, pick a public place, pick a day of the week, and start sharing your skills with other families." -www.wearyourbaby.org
This is what Babywearers of the Midlands is all about. Parents helping other parents on their parenting journeys: sharing our skills, our knowledge, our failures AND our successes. It doesn't matter whether your only experience is with a Baby Bjorn, or if you've tried a little of everything, you have valuable knowledge to share both in our group and in our wider community. I'll be honest. I've never even tried ON a Baby Bjorn or similar narrow based carrier. My husband did, when we were expecting our first, and it looked like a baby bra on his 6'6" frame. We laughed, and moved on. Those of you that have used a Baby Bjorn (or similar narrow based carrier), I'm sure have ways to make it more comfortable for you and babe, and are perhaps the best resource for others looking to branch out from that type of carrier. Don't be afraid to speak up and share your stories. We love hearing from each and every one of you.

 

The Swap.

It's a scary place, the first time you go look. I'm sure you've heard horror stories. Failed transactions. Abbreviations. New language. Rules. It's like a whole 'nother country there. And I'm not even exaggerating. BUT. It's one of the best places to find a used carrier for the money you want to spend, plus, you are helping another mama out, right? I'm going to try to break it down for you, both as a seller and a buyer. How to navigate it, the lingo, tips and tricks for selling quickly, and buying right.

Buyers

Before you do anything else, even look, you need a feedback link. Go find the group "Babywearing Swap Feedback" and ask to join. Someone will add you usually within 24-48 hours. Once you are in, you need to be on a regular computer to create an album, not mobile. Choose a picture, it doesn't have to be your profile picture, just one you like, of YOU, and create an album with it, titled with "Feedback for YOUR NAME HERE."

Once you've created and titled the album, link under it in comments any buyer/seller feedback you have from other sites. www.diaperswappers.com, www.babywearer.com, www.etsy.com, www.ebaby.com, you get the idea. If you have NO feedback, anywhere, that's ok too. Just say so, in your album comments. Everyone has to start somewhere. Once you've created that feedback album, SAVE that link in a document somewhere, or if you are like me, and always mobile, send it to your phone, too. It can be difficult to search for albums, as that group is very, very large.

Okay, now that you've created a feedback link, you can go browse the swap. It helps to read the rules first, that will give you a general idea of the feel of things (but I really recommend doing that in any buy/sell/trade group you join). The carriers are listed in albums. Woven wraps by size, other carriers by types, miscellaneous items (you will find babywearing coats, accessories, etc here), and the Bargain Carrier album (everything $100 or less, usually including shipping). Some people, like me, are always mobile and will post to the wall. Wall listings are active for a few days before they must be moved to an album or deleted. 

You've found a pretty carrier! But the listing is like a foreign language - what do you do? Take a deep breath, I will parse out some common abbreviations and terms. The seller should list the brand, colorway, and size. Brands could be Didymos - abbreviated Didy. Kokadi is KKD, Kinderpack is KP, Little Frog is LF, you can find a link of common abbreviations, HERE. Next should be colorway. If it is Didymos, one of the oldest and most common/popular brands, there is a specific logic to the abbreviation. PHI, LHI, NLI, BWI - these are all Indios - that's the weaving pattern and the last letter of the abbreviations. The first letter is the color (in order  - Petrol, Lila, Natural, Blue or Black). Except in the case of the all cotton Indios, the second letter is the fiber blend. H is for Hemp, L is for Linen. In the case of all cotton, the second letter is the second color, often W for White. if you see more abbreviations, do not be afraid of Google. Google is your friend.

Price. Say the price listed is $130PPD or MMAO. What's that mean? PPD is "postage paid domestic" or basically, shipping included. Nearly everything is supposed to shipped priority, with tracking and insurance on The Swap. You've noticed, I'm sure, that these are not the cheapest baby items.  You want to be protected as much as possible in a sale. MMAO = Make Me An Offer. MMARO is Make Me A Reasonable Offer. Honestly, unless listed "price is firm", it is always okay to negotiate. Do it by private message. Like any negotiation, be nice. Don't say: "$500?! are you crazy? I can buy that retail for $198 plus shipping here! another mama is selling for $150! Would you take $125?"  Just cut to the chase and say something like:  " I love that Indio you are selling! I see it's listed for $200, would you consider taking $180?". Feel free to add in sentimental bits, like it's something you've been looking for a long time (ISO = In Search Of. DISO = Desperately In Search Of, CISO = Casually In Search Of, VDISO = Very Desperately In Search Of), or the perfect color to go with your daughter's eyes. I'm serious, sometimes that seems to help. The worst the seller can say is NO, or possibly counter offer. The albums are refreshed every month, so offers towards the end of the month stand a really good chance of being accepted, so that the seller doesn't have to relist in a fresh album next month.

Other questions to ask the seller: when do you ship? are there any stains or flaws? can you measure that for me? How does it fit your baby? do you have any other pictures (action shots, different lighting, etc)? Would you describe this carrier as good for hot weather? cold? Is it difficult to care for?

A brief word about "FTO or For Trade Only" - generally a seller/trader wants something of equal value, but sometimes you will see listed "+/- PP as needed" meaning they will entertain trades of differing value. Say they have an Ergo, and want a Tula. This means they'd trade the Ergo, and add the difference needed in Paypal money to fund the Tula someone else may offer in trade.  Or maybe the seller tried an expensive wrap, and actually misses a certain one of lesser value. So will trade their Pavo for an Indio, and the person with the Indio will also send the difference in value of Paypal money to the owner of the Pavo. Some traders want a "paypal backed trade" meaning you send the carrier PLUS the trade value in Paypal, as insurance, and both parties refund the money once the carriers are received as described. This is the most protected way to trade, but many people trade because they don't have the money to buy. If you are comfortable trading, go for it. (disclosure: I've never done a Paypal backed trade. I've always been very happy just trading).

What if you want something more expensive than you can afford in one go? Some sellers will accept payment plans. Make sure you lay out the terms in detail via private message. Usually a non refundable deposit, and regular payments until it is paid off. I've done my share as both buyer and seller, and love that there are people out there to help me afford what I want. Now, many times these payments are a mix of gifted and goods (so the seller is not hit with excessive fees). If you prefer the security of sending money as goods, perhaps offer to cover the extra fees the seller would incur.

So, the seller accepts your offer. Great! Make sure you either ask for their Paypal address or give them yours to invoice you, as soon as you are sure. The general rule is that the first person to ask for the paypal address is the buyer (or asks for an invoice). Always send money as goods so both of you are protected. There are fees for the seller this way, but that should be built into the cost they ask. (sometimes carriers will be listed as $130 ALL IN, instead of PPD to reflect that). They should give you a tracking number as soon as they ship.

Fluffy Mail!
Once you get the carrier, before you use it even once, look it over for stains, flaws, anything out of the ordinary. There is a great post here about common flaws and how to fix them. Most are cosmetic and should have been disclosed in the listing. If you find something glaring, take a picture and message the seller. Mostly as an FYI. If it is something you can't live with, or makes the carrier unsafe, it is perfectly OK to ask for a refund and send the carrier back to her. If she refuses, then a Paypal dispute should be opened. BUT - 99% of the time, that will not be necessary.  One other thing you may want to do, if it is a woven wrap, is measure it. STIH - Soft Tape In Hand (this is a cloth measuring tape, in case you have not guessed) - along one rail, to make sure the size is roughly what you were sold. This is the most glaring error I've seen happen to buyers lately, is getting a different size than listed. It's not off by a couple inches (often wraps shrink a couple inches washing, that is no big deal), but by a foot or more. You can ask for a refund or sell it yourself to fund the size you actually want. I will say that in the majority of cases, you get what you asked for and everything looks great! Happy Wearing!

This is a link to Babywearing 102's Swap Etiquette document. They do not recommend negotiation, but I think it is fine, as long as it's done politely, and by private message.

Selling

So, maybe your first carrier didn't work quite right for you, or your baby has outgrown it. You want to sell it. Good news: baby carriers retain more of their value than nearly any other baby gear item I can think of. Here's what you need to list your carrier:

A picture.

You want a clear picture, in good light, of your carrier. Bonus points for creating a collage (there are many smartphone apps that make it easy). For wraps, it helps to have action shots as well as one of the wrap neatly folded or rolled up. If you want your picture to be click-bait, having a daddy-wearing pic is always pretty awesome.  If there are any flaws (pulls, loose threads, stains, fading) take a close up picture using something as reference. This is often why you will see a coin or other item on a carrier, as a reference size showing the size of the flaw. (other reasons you see items on a carrier are to compare/contrast the color) - these pictures can be included in the comments. I recommend doing this rather than having potential buyers private message you for pictures, as it makes everything public, and you won't be answering a dozen PMs asking for the same information.

Price.

 How much to ask for your carrier is a sensitive topic. It's a very personal algorithm that often includes how much you paid for it, how much you will pay in shipping, if it is a high demand (HSA = highly sought after or HTF = Hard To Find. ETF = Easy to Find) carrier, if it is OOAK (one of a kind), sentimental value, condition, etc. In general, you can ship most things priority within the US for $10 or less. Often it helps to include in your listing (because the swap is international) that you will cover a portion of shipping elsewhere, or add $X for shipping, or to have a potential buyer message you for a shipping quote.  There are relatively common carriers that sell for close to retail if they are in excellent condition (no pulls, flaws, etc) but are well broken in (often linen and hemp blends), because it does take time and effort to achieve that state of wrapping floppiness. If you do not know what the original retail value for your wrap was, it might be listed on the woven wraps database, or you can try googling. If all else fails, you can ask on the group Babywearing 102 on Facebook.

 

Listing.

Include as much information as you can, including everything reasonable that went into your price - like condition (EUC = Excellent Used Condition, VGUC = Very Good Used Condition, Like New or BNIB = Brand New In Box), color, fiber, how broken it is, why you like it, and why you are selling (if it didn't work for you or if your child outgrew it). Your life story is not needed, and it does not seem to help sell a carrier any faster, I'm sorry to say. Remember, this is a public forum and all the financial details of your life do not need to be on display. I only include this disclaimer, because you DO see postings like that, and that is not the best way to sell your carrier. DO include if you have pets, if there are smokers in your home, etc. It also helps to include when you will be able to ship. We are all moms, we all have kids, we KNOW you may not be able to get to the post office every day, and not everyone can print postage at home. Putting a time frame in there (e.g.: I ship on Wednesdays and Saturdays) will help answer questions. Be honest! The more information you include about the carrier itself, the more likely it will sell quickly with little fuss, and the person who does buy it will be happy because there are no surprises upon receipt.

Lastly: include your feedback link. Once a carrier is received and everyone is satisfied, please leave feedback both as a buyer and a seller.

These guidelines also apply in any carrier B/S/T group. There is Babywearing on a Budget and also some manufacture specific ones (Kinderpack has one, as well as Kokadi, Pavo, some of the other hand-woven wraps, and if you dare, there is a High-end Babywearing Swap you can search for)

Happy Buying, Selling, and Trading! If you have any questions, need help troubleshooting, or have other tips and tricks to share, come join the conversation in our Facebook group.

Upcoming Meetings:

This Thursday, the 27th at 10:00 join us at the LDS church on Broad River Rd to learn more about Babywearing on a Budget.
 Saturday, April 5th, at 10:00 a.m., we will be at the LDS building on Assembly Street in downtown Columbia. The topic: Babywearing Dads. We will have dads talk about the carriers they love, and why. Bring the men in your life to this family friendly meeting!
Thursday, April 24th, at our weekday location, we will take about warm weather babywearing, including wearing in the water.
Saturday April 26th is the Natural Baby Expo/Great Cloth Diaper Change. We will be there, with a table to answer questions, meet new parents, and help spread the babywearing love!

We look forward to seeing everyone at one (or more!) of these events, and the play dates that are sure to be sprinkled in between as the weather warms up.