If the carrier fits . . . . wear it! - Babywearing Plus Size Style

Happy Blog Day!

The last few weeks have been chock full of events - Expos, play dates, meetings . . . it's a sign summer is coming and we will all be getting even busier! Even me, your erstwhile blogger, so I thought I'd take advantage of a quiet evening and talk about something near and dear to my heart, plus size babywearing.

Tandem wearing my oldest 2

I've been plus sized my entire adult life, and though I'm working (successfully!) at getting healthier and slimmer, I know too well the frustrations of being bigger than average. My husband, too, has been there, done that. At his largest he was nearly 400 lbs and wearing 3XLT shirts. At my largest, I was nearly 250 lbs and wearing size 20, though I am sure that was snug. Despite our size, both my husband and I were intrigued by babywearing and determined to make it work for us. When we became parents in 2009, we started with an Ergobaby buckle carrier (SSC) - it fit him with an extender belt, and I was just able to make it work without the belt. Since then, we've discovered and used lots of other carriers, and I'm here to tell you that no matter what size you are, YOU can wear your baby. In all sorts of carriers, from buckle carriers, to mei tais, to woven and stretchy wraps, there is something in every category that will work for you, I promise. Not only do you have options, your options have options! I believe that you will find at least one carrier you love, not only because it works for you, but because you love the look and feel of it, too.  I'm going to walk you through the different categories of carriers and tell you what will likely work, and what (probably) won't.

First, the bad news.

Most of the things that will work for you aren't available in a brick and mortar store. A couple of weeks ago I shared a blog post about locally available carriers, and to be quite honest, though I got all of them to fit (and as of that writing, I was under 200 lbs and a size 16) - with a few of them it was a near thing. You can probably get a few to work for you, but your best options are available online, and there are plenty of them, so never fear!

The good news:

There are so many options, I am going to break it up by carrier type, explaining the good, the bad, and the ugly, including how to make some of these options less ugly, so to speak.

 

SSC/Buckle Carriers

Ashlyn and her daughter in an Ergo

This category includes Ergobaby, Boba, Beco, Kinderpack, Olives and Applesauce,Tula, Infantino Union, and a whole host of others.

The good: Buckle carriers are easy to use, and since these are often the option commonly chosen by daddy wearers, these tend to have generous length of straps and waist belts. Most of these aren't too bad on your wallet either; ranging in price from under $50 (the Infantino Union) to under $200 - most every other brand, unless it is a custom carrier (in which case, of course it will run you more) brand new. The only brand SSC that seems to run small in the straps is the Lillebaby. When I tried it, I barely got the waist to buckle. Every other carrier I have tried, I had waist length to spare. And I've personally owned an Ergobaby, Boba, Kinderpack, Olives and Applesauce, Babyhawk Oh!snap, and a Nana's JetPack, as well as having tried other brands available locally, and a friend's Tula.

Lillebaby
 tight, but it works!

** A word on strap length - many online makers offer Plus Size straps - Kinderpack offers this option, as do many others, though it may be labeled differently. Kanga calls their Plus Size carrier the Kanga XLT. Unless you are very plus sized, or quite tall, I doubt you will need plus straps. That "plus" bit only refers to the additional length of padding. The problem with extra padding usually comes in back carries, where you need a lot less length usually, and if you are short like I am, you need a LOT less length. With the plus straps you may not be able to get it tight enough to be comfortable for you and baby. I do know many plus sized parents that like the extra padding - but wanted to mention that you may not actually need that if you can't find it.

The bad: The price for a good carrier can be daunting to some, and it can sometimes be hard to find the carrier you want in the color or print you love. But honestly, that is true for any wearer of any size. Also, eventually you may want a different size or brand of carrier as your baby grows - buckle carriers are not the best birth-to-toddler option (though some carriers, like Olives and Applesauce, come close with built in infant panels for babies and wide seats for toddlers).

The ugly: Muffin-top. If you buckle this snugly around your waist, where most people wear it, you may notice some bulge above or below the webbing. If you are at all vain about how you look while wearing your baby, this may deter you from this choice of carrier. How to avoid this look? Buckle your carrier higher, around your ribcage/under your breasts. This is usually the slimmest part of your body and will look better. Another advantage is baby will be higher on your back which many find more comfortable, and baby may be happier being able to see over your shoulder. If you are like me and often wear layers for nursing, I usually will drape my top layer over the buckle, to disguise the bulge.

Mei Tai 

This category includes Babyhawk, Infantino Sash Mei Tai, Cat-Bird Baby (easily available), and other custom makers like Obi-mama, Bamberoo, and many Woven Wrap companies make a Wrap Conversion Mei Tai (Didymos, Hoppediz, and Lenny Lamb do for sure). 

Minde - tying Tibetan looks great!

The Good: Mei Tai are also super easy to use - just tie it on, and there are lots of options for ways to tie to adjust the comfort for you and  your baby. This is an easy carrier to move between different wearers since there are no buckles to adjust and it's truly one size fits most wearers and babies. There are tips to making a mei tai fit a smaller baby which also apply somewhat to SSC/Buckle Carriers. The price point is also pretty reasonable - ranging from around $30 for the Infantino to $200+ for custom wrap conversion options - you can find something in your budget.

The Bad: Strap length might be limiting somewhat, for what carriers you can do. Especially in the more custom options (or if you decide to sew your own) you can opt for longer straps to suit your needs.

The Ugly: Unlike an SSC, there are options for tying to avoid muffin top. There are some great tips for using and trouble shooting mei tai HERE.

Ring Sling

Rachael - this she sewed herself!

My favorite all time resource for all things Ring Sling Related is www.sleepingbaby.net - Jan Andrea has been doing this for years. If you poke around her site a bit, you'll find information on different shoulder styles, buy an inexpensive sling from her, send her a woven wrap to convert (if you see a ring sling done with an SBP or Eesti shoulder, it was done by her or by someone else using her instructions), and lots, and lots of DIY tutorials. Other great ring sling makers include Zanytoes, Sweet Pea Slings, Rocking Baby, Sakura Bloom, and Babyette.

The Good: Ring Slings are wonderful for new parents and new babies - you simply slip over your head and tighten. They also are a great carrier for toddlers who want up and down eleventy million times. What size do you need? I'd say no smaller than a medium, but you certainly do not need the size that corresponds with your shirt size. Basically, the extra length affords you a longer tail, which is pretty, and can serve as a handy nursing cover, or to wrap the rings if they get uncomfortable. Price - Ring Slings can easily be found under $100, even wrap conversion ring slings on occasion.

The Bad: Ring Slings are, by definition, a one-shouldered carrier. It will not be comfortable to use them for hours with a newborn or a long period of time with a heavy toddler. It may take some trial and error to find a shoulder style that you find comfortable. It's not generally recommended to use ring slings for back carriers (it's tricky to ensure the rings stay secure, though I know some wearers slide toddler from their hips to their backs for a minute or two to get them out of the way as they cook, etc ).

The Ugly: Some men aren't fans of ring slings - I think the find the draping fabric too feminine. That's the only "ugly" thing I can think of, as I find ring slings pretty universally appealing.

Woven Wraps



Amber is using a size 3 wrap

Woven wraps are wonderful. They are by far the most versatile of any sort of carrier, as they can be worn front, back, or hip, by any size or gender of wearer, for any size of baby from squish to preschooler. You will never need to "size up" for an older toddler the way you might choose to for a SSC or Mei Tai. (You may find different qualities in wraps appeal as your baby grows or you deal with variations in the weather, however).  That's great, I hear you say. What's the catch?

The Good: no matter if you are a size 14/16 or a size 22/24 or more, you can use most wrap sizes, from a size 2 to a size 7+.  The chart linked here gives you a good idea of what you can do with what size wrap. As you can see, any size can be your friend. I found as a new wrapper with a young baby, I preferred the length of a 7 to do multi-layer supportive carries. As my experience and baby grew, I preferred shorter wraps so I could secure baby faster. As an added bonus, shorter wraps tend to be less expensive. There are tons of different companies, fabric blends, and patterns to choose from, I honestly believe that there is something out there for everybody.

The Bad: Woven wraps have probably the longest learning curve of any carrier option. You'll sweat, curse, and cry. But then, if you keep at it, your muscles and joints will magically work together with your brain, and it will CLICK. And you will post pictures everywhere of your sweaty, tear-streaked awesomeness and we will cheer for you, because we have all been there. If we haven't (yet), we will stand back in virtual awe of your mad skills. Trust me. It's worth it. I admit, I'm mostly a buckle girl these days, but I am beyond grateful that wrapping is in my repertoire - it's a skill that's come in handy nearly every day since I had my second baby, and continues as my third baby grows into toddlerhood. For the plus size mama, especially if you feel your joints may be a bit limited in mobility, you might want to start back wrapping when your baby is a little older, like 6+ months, since bigger babies are easier to wrap (you don't have to try to reach quite as high on your back to do the passes needed to secure them). Unfortunately, wraps come with the most sticker shock - there are some budget friendly options - Little Frog, Storcheweige, Tekni Wovens has a beginner wrap option, and there is a Babywearing on Budget Swap on Facebook (everything under $100) - there are wraps that sell in excess of $300. Wraps also seem less budget friendly, because most people don't seem to buy just one. Yes, you can have just ONE wrap. (or two, or three . . .). Many of us DO have only a couple. The trick is to try some things to see what you like. The good news? Wraps have great resale value! and people love to trade!

The Ugly: there is no ugly in wrapping :) For many people I know, it's why they choose wrapping over other options, because there are lots of gorgeous ways to tie off a wrap that are flattering. Google Saltwater Tie off (done to finish a Double Hammock) or Sweetheart Tie (done with Back Wrap Cross Carry) or Taiwanese Carry.

You see, no matter what size you are, you can find a carrier that suits your personal needs, style, and body type. Babywearing can be the ultimate confidence booster as doing it often and successfully makes you feel like Super Woman, and that's a feeling that's flattering on every body shape.

Upcoming Events

 

Our weekend meeting is coming up on June 14th (a Saturday) at 10:00 a.m. at the LDS building on Assembly Street - come join us and check out our Lending Library where we can help you find a carrier that works for you.

Our June weekday meeting is Thursday, June 26th at 10:00 a.m. at the LDS Church on Broad River Rd. We'll be doing Yoga. And Babywearing. AT THE SAME TIME!  This will be a great time to bring your older kids who are out of school to join the fun.

Please note that both buildings are Peanut-Free Facilities, please choose nut-free snacks for your littles.

 

Also: Saturday, June 28th is the Midlands Baby and Kids Expo, where we will have a table set up to do demonstrations and troubleshooting.

Every Wednesday at 8:30 p.m. come join us in the Facebook Group for live chat with other local Babywearers - we talk about everything under the sun.